Our Lives Are One
by bluemoonbabe
Summary: A Julexis Fanfic. There will be smut, so if you don't like that-don't read it! No bashing on any of the characters. Just spreading the Julexis love.
1. Chapter 1

i

It was a calm night in Port Charles. There was hardly any traffic on the road as Alexis drove home from a long day of work. The office on the other hand had been a completely different story. It was one case after another for her, all of them petty issues that could have been handled without the legal system, but at least it would pay the bills. It wasn't that Alexis had stopped loving her job, on the contrary—she loved it very much. It was that it wasn't in her job description to settle a debate between who gets the Prius in the divorce. After all, who gave a damn about a Prius that would break down in a few years anyway?

By the time she got home it was nearly midnight. Molly, Sam and Danny had already had dinner and gone to bed hours before. When she entered the apartment the lights were off. There wasn't a note left for her on the kitchen counter for her, nor a plate of food left for her in the fridge. She sighed to herself, feeling like a stranger in her daughter's home. She opted to skip dinner and go straight to bed. Tomorrow was Saturday and she would finally get her long deserved break from work.

That night she threw off her clothes and shoved them into the hamper. It was on a stressful night like this that she wished she had someone to comfort her. Technically, Alexis was with Ned, but she wasn't willing to call him up for a chat by the fireplace. She had gone on a few dates with him, and though they were romantically involved in the past, the prospect of being romantically involved with Ned now was… for lack of better words, a foreign concept to her.

The man she most wanted to be romantically involved with was—No! She would not think of him right now, not think of how his name rolled off her tongue effortlessly and beautifully. She wouldn't think about his touch against her soft skin, hot and tempting. She plain out refused to think about the messages he had been leaving on her phone for the past few days: "This isn't over," "I'm not giving up on you," "You can't throw away what we had," "Alexis, please." Those words weren't stuck in her head on repeat, nonstop ever since she dared to listen to those messages this morning. Those words meant nothing to her, nothing whatsoever. She was terrible at lying to herself. His words meant everything to her. The thoughts of him drowned out everything else in her mind. Julian was her everything.

She hopped into the shower, letting the abnormally warm water wash over her. It may have relieved the tension in her muscles, but it relieved none of the tension in her heart. Suddenly a rush of heat swept over her, and her most carnal needs surfaced as the water beat down on her.

_She imagined Julian in the shower with her, wrapping his arms around her. She would toss her head back as his mouth found the sweet spot in her neck, hungrily assaulting it in a way that would make her loose it. His hands would wander on her body, groping her breasts and teasing her nipples. The shower would do nothing to drown out their moans and groans. He would slide a hand down to just above her nether regions, and drag a finger across it, over and over, until she would lose the strength in her legs. "Tell me how much you want me, how much you need me, Alexis," his voice would whisper in her ear, a low growl._

_ "I need you so much, Julian."_

_ He would press close to her, his length rubbing against her buttocks, "Oh but how much, Alexis?" He dragged his hand to her clit, and began to rub it slowly._

_"I need you more than I need food to eat."_

_Julian suddenly flipped Alexis around, knocking the wind out of her. He pushed her_

_to the wall and continued to rub her clit, but this time harder. It made her body quiver, and her knees weakened even more. Julian held her up, both breathing heavily. "Hmm, I don't think you need me enough then." Julian nibbled on her ear and moved his other hand to her buttocks, squeezing it lightly at first, but then harder, making Alexis let out a shocked gasp. "What about now Alexis?" _

_ "I need you more than I need water to drink." Alexis was so close, yet so far. She felt as if she was floating between states of consciousness, the world flashed on and off before her eyes. _

_ Down below, they were so close to penetration. He was just at the edge, rubbing against her entrance. Julian kissed her fiercely, slipping his tongue into her mouth. He tasted irresistible, and as the kiss deepened Alexis only wanted more of him. Her arms explored his back, outlining every muscle, every angle, even the slightest curve. She moaned into his mouth. His mouth parted from hers, "Tell me Alexis, how much do you need me now?" _

_ "I need you more than I need the air to breath," she uttered, her voice low and sultry. Her eyes, filled to the brim with lust, looked into his, challenging him to tempt her further. _

_ "Still not enough," Julian said as he took her arms and pinned them to the wall at her sides, taking away her ability to touch him. He kissed her again, and then slowly planted kisses along her neck. Her breasts. Her abdomen. She let out desperate moans and choked out his name. He stood back up, still pinning her arms to the wall. His length rubbed against her thigh. She could tell he was in the same pain she was, but he controlled himself better. He pressed closer to her, kissing her on the mouth, nibbling on her bottom lip before he stepped back. "Tell me Alexis, how much do you need me now?"_

_ She let out a strangled moan. She stumbled to him, defeated. She put her hand against his chiseled chest, tracing the outline of it with a single finger. She was utterly absorbed by him. "Julian, please," she whispered, breathing heavily. She was begging him to take her, pleading with every inch of her body for him to completely destroy her. _

_He had tortured her so deliciously. She wrapped her arms around him as he picked her up, holding her legs at her sides while he entered her. He pinned her against the wall once more. He pressed his lips against her ear, "I still need you more," he whispered into her ear as he mercilessly pounded into her body, just the way she liked it. _

As Alexis dried herself off with a towel, she knew that that night she would be getting no sleep. She dressed herself in a baggy t-shirt and an old pair of sweat pants before she dove into bed. She tossed and turned in bed that night. Just before she finally drifted off to sleep, it occurred to her that Julian would have waited up for her until she got home, no matter how ungodly the hour was. He would be sitting on the couch, half asleep. When he would hear the door open he would jump up and nearly tackle her in a loving hug. He'd inhale the sweet scent of her hair just before releasing her. He would have dinner waiting on the stove for her and would have heated it up for the both of them. Moreover, he would have waited, no matter how hungry he had gotten, for her to come home before he would eat dinner—so that they could eat it together. When they would go to the bedroom, he would already have her pajamas laid out on the bed. Julian would have done all that and more, only if she had let him stay in her life. Alexis fell asleep with a tear rolling down her cheek that night, whispering his name and reaching out to the empty half of the bed, hoping that some magic force would have brought him to her that night.


	2. Chapter 2

ii

Alexis woke up in the middle of the night and instinctively looked at her alarm clock. It was four in the morning, and she didn't feel a bit tired. A pang of hunger hit her, and she realized that she had a craving for pumpkin pie. The family had had some the day before; maybe there were leftovers in the fridge.

She tiptoed down the stairs, careful not to wake a single soul. She opened the refrigerator doors like they were the gates of heaven, but upon looking what was inside—the refrigerator turned out to be a disappointment. There was nothing left, not a single scrap of food. Her stomach growled.

"I should have stopped to get something on my way home," she said to herself.

She checked every cabinet, but there was nothing in them. She couldn't go on like this for the rest of the night, tossing and turning in bed with hunger gnawing at her insides. She hurried back upstairs, grabbed her coat and put it over her over-sized t-shirt. There had to be something open this late into the night, she reasoned.

After exiting the apartment in a ninja-like fashion, Alexis hopped into her car and started to drive around the city of Port Charles like a maniac, in search of a single place open at this ungodly hour that just might have pumpkin pie. She would tell herself that the gas was worth it; the time spent in search of such a place would be well worth a single bite of pumpkin pie. Though, she did admit to herself that it was strange that she was compelled to find pumpkin pie. Couldn't apple do?

There was a twenty four hour diner open next to a small gas station at the edge of town, the only place that seemed to be open at four in the morning. She purchased a piece from the diner and got it in a to-go box. She carefully placed it in her passenger seat, looking forward to the way the pie would melt in her mouth when she returned home.

She started her car, and realized that she didn't have enough gas to get home. It was convenient that there was a gas station next door to the diner. The man working in the gas station was nice enough, with a big smile spread across his face as she paid for the gas. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed that there was a bouquet of gardenias among bouquets of dainty gas station roses. Alexis bit her lip, remembering the time that Julian had brought her gardenias. She was desperately trying to bite back both a smile and tears. She rushed out of the gas station, practically jumped into her car and hurried home. Maybe the pumpkin pie would help relieve her of some of the thoughts of Julian that were pilfering her mind.

The night sky was no longer as dark as it had been. Encircling the half of the moon on the horizon were bright shades of pink and orange, slowly fading into the bluish-back sky. Port Charles was beautiful on a night like this, with its evergreen trees coated in frost, bathed by the moonlight and the silhouette of beautifully built houses on the edge of the forest.

Alexis was just about to drive into the main part of the city when she heard police sirens preceded by several gunshots. Two black sedans raced passed her, followed by several police cars. There were three cars that were piled on top of each other, blocking the road. In the distance she could see a shiny stream of blood was pooled on the ground, and Alexis could feel in the pit of her stomach that this was more than just an accident.

She reacted too late, her car spiraled out of control and she hit a tree. Her car had sustained a considerable amount of damage, but she was just fine. Alexis exited the car, wrapping her arms tightly around herself as she surveyed the damage. She could see her breath in the air, white against black.

She heard a voice in the distance, low and grave "That's what you get for trying to leave the organization again." Alexis ran to hide behind a tree, though she was far enough away from the wreckage, she did not want to risk being spotted.

There was a cough, choked out. Then there was a voice, barely a whisper. It was an all too familiar voice, one that sent chills down her spine, "At least I tried, unlike all you cowards," more coughs, followed by the sound of hacking out blood, "who stay because you're so afraid you'll end up dead." Julian. It was Julian. Alexis was already in tears.

"We're right to think so, you idiot. You'll be dead soon enough." The man let out a menacing cackle. Alexis heard the sound of the mob boss's henchmen kicking Julian, and Julian letting out a strangled cry before he walked off and disappeared into the forest.

Alexis started to run toward Julian, circling passed the cars. He was lying on the ground, like road-kill left to rot on the side of the road. He was holding a hand to his side, blood leaking through the gaps in his fingers. She kneeled by him, and caressed his scuffed-up cheek with her soft hand.

"Funny to see you here," Julian laughed. His hair was matted with blood, his face pale and bruised.

"Don't speak Julian, you're injured."

"I'll be fine Alexis. I've been beat up worse. I'm sure I'll survive." These were the words of a dying man, too strong to admit defeat just yet.

"I'll call an ambulance, Julian." She reached for her phone, but it wasn't in her pocket. She shuffled around, checking every pocket, every unlikely place that it may be, but it was nowhere to be found when she needed it most.

He could see the dismay in her eyes, "It's okay Alexis, the police already passed by this wreck. They're out for the bigger prize." Alexis knew that the other henchman, and perhaps the boss was off in the cars that had sped by her on the road.

"Don't say that, goddamnit." Alexis was choking on her own tears, just as Julian was suffocating from his own blood that was filling up his lungs—slowly, but surely. It was funny how the liquid of life could kill a person so easily as it lets a person live.

"I'm assuming you heard everything." Despite being in pain, Julian was smiling. He was so elated that Alexis was here, by his side, in his final hour.

"Yes," she uttered, placing a kiss on his lips, agonizingly brief. Their lips parted as soon as they were brought together, "Why the hell did you do it Julian? Why did you try to get out of the mob now?"

"I thought that maybe if I was out I could have you back." His smile was even wider, his eyes shining brighter than the moon above their heads. In his heart, Julian felt that he had attempted to do the right thing.

"Why didn't you come to me, come to some other lawyer? This could have been done through the legal system, in some safer way. You could have been protected Julian!" Her voice got louder with ever sentence and she was breathing heavily. "Julian this could have been avoided completely! You thick-headed idiot, you never think anything through before you do it." Never in her wildest dreams did Alexis imagine that Julian getting out of the mob would end up like this.

"Coming to you would have gotten you killed. It was safer this way, to go to them directly."

Alexis was no longer on her knees. She was lying on the ground, an arm wrapped around his chest. She was balling into his chest, like a child scorned, desperately seeking for any sort of comfort. "I didn't want you to get out of the mob, just to get killed."

"I know Alexis," He kissed the top her head. "This isn't your fault; don't ever think that this is your fault."

Alexis could no longer feel her own heart beating. It was a dead, useless organ in her chest. In place of it there was a black pit, filled with the sort of emptiness that only Julian could fill. Salty tears ran like rivers down her cheeks, mixing in with the blood stains on Julian's shirt. Alexis realized that his blood was soaking into her clothing, and it only made her cry harder.

"Alexis, I did this for you. I did this because I love you."

"I know Julian," she sobbed out, "I love you too. I love you so much." She repeated the words, "I love you" a thousand times over, because that was the last thing that she wanted him to hear.

Julian took her chin and tilted her head upwards, and Alexis dragged herself closer to his face. He kissed her, slipping his tongue in her mouth. He wanted her to feel sweetly tortured by him one last time.

She cut the kiss off too soon, giving him time to breathe. "Julian is there anything I can do for you. Please, anything?" He was getting weaker; she could feel the beat of his heart slowing in his chest with every second.

"Just kiss me one last time Alexis." She gave him what he wanted, kissing him more passionately than she ever had kissed anyone in her entire life. She wanted to be able to force her life's energy into him with that kiss, to give her life to him so that he could live. Julian's head fell back, but he was still looking into her eyes. "Alexis, I love you," he whispered. It echoed through the forest and disappeared in the wind.

"I love you too," Alexis replied quickly, her chest tightening. Taking his last breath, Julian closed his eyes.

Alexis' shrieks were drowned out by the sound of an ambulance's siren—the ambulance that came too late. Alexis wrapped herself around Julian, still hearing the sound of him saying "I love you" to her. It resounded in her head, like a broken record that she never wanted to fix.


	3. Chapter 3

iii

Alexis shot up in bed, drenched in sweat. Tears began to fall from her eyes as she clutched her knees to her chest. She felt like she was being ripped apart from the inside. She wiped the tears from her eyes, sniffling. Trying to pull herself together, she jumped out of bed and paced around the room.

"Come on Alexis, it was only a nightmare," she told herself. "It was just a nightmare," was a mantra that she kept on repeating until accepted defeat and took an oversized coat out of the closet. She would only check up on Julian, make up some random excuse like she realized that she had left some of her clothing there from back when they dated, and she was there to pick it up. Pick it up…at four am. Alexis scoffed to herself, "Like that would work," she said under her breath. She had been looking for every single little excuse to be able to talk to Julian. Every passing day was becoming harder to live without him. This night mare, no matter how ludicrous an excuse, was more than enough to drive her back to him.

Despite fighting with herself about going on this absurd escapade, she somehow ended up out of Sam's apartment and in her car. She was thankful that she hadn't woken up her family with her crying or her pacing.

The night sky was similar to how it had looked in her night mare and it made her feel queasy. She was already half way to Julian's pent house. She was again in tears, remembering the scenes of her dream. He was dying in her arms; she felt like she was dying on the inside.

His "I love you" was playing on repeat in her head, and it made her remember the first time that Julian had said those words to her. They had been in Ned Ashton's backyard; she had asked him for the truth, and while he was giving her his version of it he had managed to slip in those words that had wrecked her completely.

_"If you don't believe anything else I'm saying, believe this: I love you," Julian uttered lowly. Her eyes had softened, filling with affection and her heart felt like it had jumped out of her chest. Ned being present with his guards had made Alexis want to throw a fit. Julian has said those three little words, so powerful and beautiful to her, and they were there to ruin it._

_Alexis watched Julian walk away, unable to speak. She slowly walked after him, Ned tailing after her. Every fiber of her being was telling her to run after the man that she loved! But Ned was there, an overbearing presence._

_She apologized to Ned for Julian's behavior, and Ned returned sweet words to her. He embraced her with a friendly hug and kissed her on the cheek, which she tentatively returned. Her mind was elsewhere, absorbed by three words that could never be taken back. _

_Alexis was holding back tears until she exited Ned's home, and for the rest of the day she felt like she was wandering in a foreign land, completely in a daze from the day's events. Her heart told her to go back to Julian, her mind told her that there were too many things wrong between them and her ethics told her that there was a right way to do things, but at the moment there was no right way. Fools say to follow your heart, and Alexis wished that she was a fool at the moment. She yearned to be able to be with Julian, it was the only thing she wanted in life at the moment._

_"I love you too," she whispered into the air before curling up into a ball in the shower, letting the cold stream of water pour over her naked body. _

For days after, she laid in bed crying. Part of her wished that she had said those words back to him, instead of trying to preserve whatever dignity she had left. There was an unbearable pang in her heart, and she realized that she was at her weakest. Her ethics had left the building, leaving only her more primordial sense of thought left to guide her through what she was about to do; she was thinking purely with her heart.

By the time she had gotten to Julian's apartment, her eyes and lips were red and swollen. She looked like a mess, in her pajamas and oversized coat along with her hair disheveled. The guards let her pass through without question. They had already been told on numerous occasions that Alexis was allowed in the Jerome pent house whether or not Julian and Alexis were technically a couple. However, the guards had placed their bets, half of them saying that the two would get back together and the other half saying that Mr. Jerome had royally screwed up this time—given Alexis' disheveled state.

Alexis knocked on his door frantically, needing to see him; she needed to make sure that he was alive. She told herself that that was all, that after she saw him that she would leave. When he didn't answer the door, she swore that her heart had stopped beating all together. Tears were streaming down her eyes and her bottom lip was quivering. She began pounding the door, harder and faster the longer he didn't answer. She opened her mouth to start calling his name.

But before she could, the door opened and a sleepy Julian stepped out in his black boxers, a hand scratching his head. "Why the hell—" Julian looked up, speechless. His first thought was,_ "She looks beautiful, even like this."_ His second thought was, _"Oh crap, what did I do this time?"_ Standing before him was a very underdressed, extremely upset Alexis. His heart broke at the sight of her. He hated seeing her cry, not that he had seen her cry that often. In fact, this might have been the second or third time he had ever seen her cry, and it made him want to do everything in his power to put a smile on Alexis' face.

"Alexis, what's the matter?" he whispered gently as he took a step closer to her; ready to take her into his arms if she needed to be comforted. He was more than willing to oblige, if she wanted to be held in his arms.

"Julian," she cried out as she dove into his arms.

She had practically pounced on him, so Julian reacted quickly, holding her up as she wrapped her legs around his waist and arms around his neck. His immediate reaction was to kiss her, pouring his heart into her with a single kiss. It was the first kiss they had shared in weeks, a kiss that they both felt like they had needed. When they broke apart she opened her mouth, but he immediately silenced her with another kiss. She didn't protest, instead she melted into the kisses and felt like she was cloud floating in the sky. Julian finally felt whole, after being apart from her so long.

When they stopped kissing, Julian let her down, and led her into his home. Alexis was still in tears, and he demanded for her to tell him the reason for those tears. "Julian, it's so stupid. So stupid," she said once, twice, a third time, and he brought a finger up to her lips.

"If it concerns you Alexis, it isn't stupid."

She looked up at him, wide-eyed and innocent. It reminded him of back when she was sixteen years old, foolishly trying to look older and seeking the adventure of a lifetime in a bar in New Hampshire. "I had a nightmare. You were dead. I needed to make sure you were okay," she said in barely a whisper. She started to cry again. "I'm so glad that you're okay," she hugged him.

Julian breathed in the scent of her hair, reveling in the sweet strawberry smell of it. "Shh, Alexis. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere."

In that moment, Alexis forgot all of the lies that were between them. She let go all of the pain, and looked into his eyes, staring into them lovingly and said whilst smiling, "I never told you that I love you."

Julian blinked a couple of times, convinced that this was all a dream. He had had plenty of dreams of Alexis professing her love for him, but would always wake up disappointed. He was waiting for himself to wake up, this was always the point where he would wake up, but instead she had put a hand to his cheek and inched closer to him. Their lips were a millimeter apart, and as she spoke her lips brushed against his. "Julian, I need you more than I've ever needed any other man. I love you more than I've loved any other man."

"Alexis, I love you too," he said before they completed the statement with a passionate kiss. They got lost in the kisses, forgetting how late into the night it was. Their hand roamed each other's bodies, squeezing and groping each other the way they had been imagining for weeks. They had nearly started stripping each other of their clothing when they both parted, gasping for air.

"Do you want to stay?" he asked her, unsure if she would regret this or not come morning.

"I'll stay until the end of eternity if I can. I just want to be here, with you."

Julian was so certain that he would wake up from this and come back to the nightmare that was his own life. He would be heart broken and alone, ready to cry like a child woken up from a foolish nightmare. The longer this went on, the more he wished to never wake up if he was in fact, dreaming.

Alexis knew where she was, she was more than well aware that she was about to crawl back into bed with and into a relationship that has only broken her heart with the man she told herself was not for her. But that only accounted for a fraction of the thoughts that were going through her head. At the front of her mind were thoughts about how right this felt, how deluded she was when she told herself that this man wasn't for her—because she could not bear to live without Julian in her life for one second longer. They were two halves of a whole, yin and yang, home and hearth, two entities in nature that must always be together. Their lives were intertwined in a way incomparable to any other and their hearts functioned as one: beating together, feeling together.

"Good, because I'm not letting you leave," Julian husked out, completely overtaken by the desire boiling within him.


	4. Chapter 4

iv

Their lips crashed together. Julian buried his hand in Alexis' hair and pressed himself closer to her. He pushed her against the wall, and Alexis let out a gasp in both pain and pleasure. She wrapped a leg around him, needing to be closer to him than she already was. Desire was boiling within them, an uncontrollable flame that neither wanted to tame.

She looked into his eyes as he slid off her coat, letting it drop on the floor and kicking it to the side. He kissed her neck, her collar bone. He took her shirt off, throwing it to god knows where in the room. Alexis wasn't wearing a bra underneath the shirt; Julian held his breath. He took her beautiful breasts into his hands and squeezed them. He bent down, taking one nipple into his mouth. His tongue expertly began to show Alexis just how much he had missed the girls. Alexis began to slide down the wall, completely losing all strength in her legs. Julian held her up, "So where to this time, the floor, the couch, the bed…or maybe the kitchen table?" he questioned her teasingly, making her let out a tiny moan.

"Oh God, Julian. I don't care. I just need you inside of me," she said breathily. She put her hands on the band of his briefs, dipping a few fingers underneath the band. Julian let out a groan. "Take me here, right against the wall," Alexis husked into his ear, taking his earlobe into her mouth.

"Mmm, so impatient." He took her pants off along with her panties, and whisked them away. The pants had fallen onto the fake fichus, falling down and crashing against the floor, but Alexis and Julian paid no mind to it. They were too absorbed in each other.

Julian picked Alexis up and carried her bridal style into the bedroom. He placed her on the bed gently, and stood at the side of the bed taking her beauty in. Her hair was haloed around her face, as she lay there so sweetly. She looked like an angel to him.

He climbed on top of her, gently setting himself over her. First he kissed her lips, then across her jawline and neck. Julian intended to show Alexis exactly how much he loved her—how much he loved every single part of her. By the time Julian reached her abdomen, Alexis was already begging for him to get inside of her. Being together with Julian after so long made Alexis beyond impatient. But Julian continued on, paying exceptionally close attention to every single inch of Alexis' skin. "I love you," Julian murmured into the area below Alexis' belly button. Eventually Julian reached the very most sensitive part of Alexis, and by the time he had Alexis had already been reduced to nothing but blood and lust. His mouth expertly catered to her needs. She let out a loud moan, relief spread through her body.

"You're so wet," Julian muttered hungrily. She had been absolutely soaked before he had even set her on the bed. "I love that I do this to you." He inserted a finger into her, then two, carefully pumping them in and out until he found the spot that made her go wild. She smirked and brought himself back up to Alexis' face.

His hand caressed her face, and Alexis was quivering beneath his touch. "I love you," she uttered softly before bringing herself up and kissing him sweetly.

He entered her depths, and they made love slowly that night. Their breaths were hot and heavy, and their hearts beat harder with every thrust. They entered the perfect rhythm, one that sent them over the edge and back. They climaxed together, sweat dripping down both of their foreheads. They called out each other's names before they collapsed onto the bed.

Alexis curled up next to Julian, and he wrapped an arm around her. He had to hold on to her, because now that they had been intimate, he had to face the harsh possibility that Alexis might change her mind and leave. It would be sudden, filled with yelling—maybe she would slap him again. In a matter of seconds she could be out the door and he would be left alone, harboring an emaciated heart. Julian let out a breath when Alexis splayed an arm across his chest. He turned his head and kissed her forehead.

There were plenty of fears piling up within Alexis, but for now she chose to set them aside. In her head, deep within the depths of her imagination, she played out a life where everything could work out with Julian. He would successfully rid himself of the mob. Molly would start to loosen up to him, maybe even start calling him dad. The thought of that made Alexis giddy with joy. They would be a wonderful family.

Alexis knew that she was too old, but perhaps if things had gone differently—if Julian had found her sooner… They could have had a larger family. It was a stupid thought. She mentally slapped herself because of it. She couldn't change the past.

They made love several times that night. Waking up after half an hour of sleep, they would look into each other's eyes, so full of need, and know that they needed another go. In between sessions, they didn't speak too much with words. Their eyes did all the talking. All of the apologies poured out of them, in tears or in a glimmer.

When Alexis had started crying after waking up at six, Julian shot up immediately and held her in his arms. She was muttering her apologies, though he could make half of it out. "Sorry…for hitting you—for leaving when I said I would stay—sorry for going to Ned. I'm so terrible." That was all that he could understand, but he didn't need a single word of those apologies. He had forgiven her for everything and for anything she was about to do the moment she slapped him across the face. Julian held Alexis in his arms until she stopped crying and drifted to sleep, her head against his chest.

"I'm sorry for lying to you." He whispered the words into her hair.

Julian woke up at noon that day, and let Alexis sleep in. He would give her all the rest she needed. He made breakfast—pancakes with maple syrup and a glass of orange juice on the side—for Alexis, and made the same for himself.

While he was making breakfast, he thought about all the things that could have gone differently in his life if he had found Alexis sooner… He thought of the family that he could have had with Alexis. In retrospect, he would have probably wanted a large family with Alexis. His heart sunk. He realized that it was something he couldn't have, but at least he had Lucas and Sam. For heaven's sake he was a grandfather! Why was he thinking these things?

He carried a large tray over to the bedroom. Alexis was sitting up, rubbing her eyes. Julian smiled to himself, wishing that he could take a picture of this moment; she looked adorable.

"Julian," Alexis smiled, "you made breakfast!"

"Only the best for the woman I love." He handed the tray to Alexis and crawled into bed. "I hope you like pancakes."

"You know how much I like your cooking. I'm sure these will be great."

They finished breakfast in bed, talking about Sam and Danny in between bites. They carefully avoided the topics of Ned and the mob. They would talk about those eventually, but definitely not now, they both decided.

He looked down at the tray, and realized that he hadn't brought coffee. "I'm sorry, I forgot the coffee."

"It's funny, I feel like I don't need it now that I'm here with you."

Julian smiled at Alexis before he got up and quickly put their finished breakfast away in the kitchen. When he entered the living room, he saw Alexis, naked, frantically searching for something. "Julian I can't find any of my clothes!" she said, frazzled.

Frankly, Julian wanted to do absolutely nothing about this problem. He picked her up and slung her over his shoulder. "I don't know why you would be looking for those when you won't need them for a while."

Alexis let out a laugh, and she let him whisk her off to bed.

Julian had dug out some of Alexis' old clothing from his closet. He never had had the heart to take any of it out of his closet, because the larger part of him knew that he and Alexis would get back together. "I need to get home quickly, so that Molly and Sam won't blow their tops off. I left my phone at home, and they're probably down at the PCPD demanding that a missing-person report be filed thirty six hours in advance," Alexis let out a forced laugh.

"Calm down," Julian took her hands and kissed her forehead. "You're a big girl. I'm sure they think that you can handle yourself."

Alexis pressed her lips against his for a chaste kiss, but something inside her changed. Suddenly she was desperately aware of all of her fears. "Julian, this is wrong," she said, as she separated from him. "This shouldn't have happened. What am I doing?" Alexis' hands were on her head.

"Don't do this again, Alexis. You're not going to walk out of my door again, saying that you won't be back."

"Julian, we can't be together. I can tell myself that everything will work out in the end, when I know that we follow the pattern every single relationship I've ever had with a—"

"Don't you dare finish that sentence." Julian took a step toward her, putting his hands on the sides of her shoulders. "Please, Alexis. I'm scared too. Terrified. Every day I think about how you being with me could result in the deaths of you, of our family. I've been plagued with nightmares of your death for so long. But then I think about how miserable I am without you, and then I see how miserable you look without me by your side—and I remember how much I need you in my life, how much we need each other. I could never force you to take the risk to be with me, and I understand your fears; I understand that I have lied to you, but please I want to work on this. I'm willing to put in so much work and effort into this relationship. I want to be with you, Alexis, more than I've ever wanted to be with any other woman. I've loved you more than I've loved any other woman."

Alexis' eyes were watery, and she looked into his and she wanted to believe the things he was saying. No—it wasn't that she wanted to believe what he was saying; it was that she wanted a relationship with him as much as he wanted a relationship with her. "I—I want to be with you too." Alexis hugged him, and she buried her face into his shoulder.

"Then don't tell me that you're not going to come back after you leave."

"I'll come back, I promise… But I want to work on this too. I don't want to dive head first into a relationship with you again."

"Okay," but Julian didn't believe her whole-heartedly.

"Okay," Alexis said smiling, her heart beating a mile a minute.

She walked through that door, and Julian collapsed onto that couch, thinking to himself that she might have been lying to his face.

A/N: So, what did you think? In the next chapter you can expect Alexis and her family! Also… Ned makes a surprising appearance?!


	5. Chapter 5

v

Alexis entered Sam's apartment apprehensively, turned around and shut the door behind her as quietly as possible. Sam came down the stairs, and stood behind her mother with her arms crossed and an inquisitive eyebrow raised. Alexis jumped back when she turned and clasped a hand to her chest, her heart racing.

"Sam you scared me."

"Not as much as you scared me when you left at God knows what time, without a note or anything. You didn't even call. Molly's been driven crazy. She swore that you were kidnapped by one of dad's men or something." Sam laughed a little. Molly had always tried to find a way to blame their family's problems on Julian. "And Danny's been asking for his grandma all morning."

"I'm sorry Sam, I left my phone here and I wasn't in the position to be able to borrow anyone else's. I just hope that Molly doesn't skin me alive for leaving without a word. There was something that I needed to take care of."

Sam scoffed, "Like?"

"I really shouldn't say. I can't breach the lawyer-client confidentiality agreement," she said nonchalantly. Alexis walked passed Sam and into the kitchen to pour herself a much-needed cup of coffee. Maybe later she'd have a gin and tonic to alleviate the stress that the rest of this conversation would inevitably cause—Alexis knew all too well that when Sam wanted know to something, Sam would get any information out of anyone, no matter who it is or how small a piece of information it is.

"Well, I don't need to know the details, really. But I would appreciate it if you could tell me where you were."

It was times like these when Alexis realized how much her daughter was like her. She inherited that natural curiosity from her, not to mention the unbearable inquisitive skills of a lawyer. "I was at Kelly's with my client."

"Funny, when Molly went out with TJ she called and said you weren't there."

"Objection on account of speculation. There is the chance that Molly couldn't see me because of where I was sitting."

"And maybe you're lying, mom. I know when you are. And objecting in the middle of a conversation? That can only mean one thing—"

Alexis sipped her coffee, desperately attempting to hide her smirk. "You know, Sam, I'm your mother. I don't think you should be the one questioning me about my whereabouts." She continued to sip her coffee.

"If you're going to live in my home, I believe that I have that right." Sam leaned in close to her mother, "And next time you decided to sneak off and see dad, I suggest that you at least leave a note so that Molly doesn't have a heart attack."

Alexis choked on her coffee. "I wasn't with Julian."

"Oh please, you have that look in your eyes."

"And what look would that be?"

"Happy, but scared senseless."

Alexis laughed at that one, in an attempt to deny how true that statement was. "You're crazy."

"I could say the same about you."

"Either way, Sam, I wasn't with your father. You're jumping to a conclusion that you don't have evidence for."

Sam and Alexis went quiet when the door suddenly opened and revealed Molly, holding Danny by the hand. "Danny wanted to come home and see if his grandma had come back yet," Molly announced.

Alexis rushed toward Molly. "I'm sorry that I left without leaving a note or calling you. Something came up."

Molly had a feeling that it wasn't the time to question her mother; she could tell that she had interrupted the beginning of an argument. "It's fine, we'll talk about this later."

Danny waddled over to Alexis and hugged her around the legs. "Come on kid, let's go play with your blocks." Danny smiled like the Cheshire Cat and hobbled over to the box that contained his blocks and spilled the box's contents across the ground. Alexis sat down, cross-legged next to him and supervised his construction of a block building. Sam and Molly left Alexis to play with Danny.

Molly was still oblivious to any trace of a relationship that Alexis had left with Julian, and Sam, while more than aware that her mom had rekindled their old flames, was going to wait until she caught the two in action before she got up on her high horse. Sam expected that the two would reunite soon after their falling out, because in her eyes—not just because she was their daughter—that they were truly meant to be together. If only they would stop lying to each other, they could get off this rollercoaster ride of a relationship and finally have something more stable, something that could develop into a healthy relationship.

The family was enjoying a dinner of slightly overdone pork chops and mushy green beans. It was Alexis' cooking; Molly and Sam were surprised that their mother had achieved making dinner without burning the apartment complex down. The food tasted fine, for the most part. Molly was more used to take out and this was a nice change, simply because her mother had taken the time to make a meal. Danny was enjoying a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, because Alexis was too afraid to give Danny any of the food (if she dared to call it that) that she had made.

Their dinner was interrupted by a knock at the door. Alexis was the first to get up; she was the one who answered the door. Ned was standing before her, dressed in dress pants and a nice, button-up shirt. He held out a bouquet of carnations to her. Alexis noted that he hadn't brought her gardenias—a little part of her was sad that he had forgotten her favorite flower.

"Ned," she said, shocked. The sinking feeling in her stomach grew with his presence. "Why—why are you here?" Could it be that she was supposed to have a date with Ned, but had forgotten about it because of Julian?

"I thought I'd stop by and surprise you. If you're busy, I'm sorry if I'm interrupting something." Ned let out a pitiful laugh. "I suppose this was my shot at being romantic."

Behind the awkward couple, Sam was standing akimbo, her eyebrow raised. "Mom would you like some privacy to be with your boyfriend? I can take Molly and Danny out for a while. We'll stop by Kelly's and get something to it." Two shots fired at once—one through her "love" life and the other through her cooking. Sam calling Ned Alexis' boyfriend made Alexis feel ridiculous.

"I think that would be good, thanks Sam."

Sam quickly took Danny by the hand and Molly practically jumped out of her chair and bolted out of the door at the thought of edible food. "See you soon Mom, have fun with Ned!" Molly sputtered out as she ran through the door. Sam and Danny followed after them; Danny waved goodbye to his grandma before Sam shut the door.

Alexis took the flowers out of Ned's hands, avoiding eye contact at all cost. She swore that she was hallucinating—or that this was a dream that would turn sour very quickly. "I'll put these in a vase." What would she say to Ned now, after her night with Julian? Her mind was clouded and her heart was pregnant with an ever-growing love for Julian, but she could not simply forget that Ned was here—trying to claim her as "his" woman.

The two were sitting on the couch, two half-full wine glasses rested on the mahogany coffee table. Their conversation was mostly small talk, catching up on their lives. It occurred to Alexis that she had known Ned for the man he was a decade ago, that the Ned now had gone through more than a run-away bride and being failed by the Quartermaine family. She and Ned were friends who could lean on each other whenever times got rough. They could talk, exchange a couple of laughs; they could go dancing and watch movies together—always Alexis' choice. What they had made was a beautiful friendship, and that was all that Alexis wanted.

She wasn't paying attention to what Ned was saying. She was staring off into the distance, thinking about the points that Julian had brought up before. Ned couldn't give her what Julian could. Julian could give her the love that no other man could give her. He could make her feel surreal—both weak and strong and both restless and stable all at once.

Ned looked into Alexis' face. He noticed that she was lost in her thoughts; a blush was creeping over her face. He took his chance, leaning in. Alexis noticed in the nick of time. She pushed Ned away, looking him dead in the eye. "I don't think we should do this. It doesn't feel right."

Ned finally found his long-lost manhood at that moment, and automatically mustered the courage to hit Alexis where it hurt. "Is it because you've finally chosen Julian, over everyone else, again?"

"I don't need to answer that, and you do not have the right to know anything about my standing with Julian."

Ned smirked. "I'm glad you've made your choice." Ned walked out of the apartment, leaving Alexis without the burden of juggling two men in her life.

Alexis walked up to her room, ready to plop down into bed and get some sleep. It had been an eventful eighteen hours. Her phone vibrated in her purse. She took it out and turned it on automatically: Julian had sent her a text message reading, "Get some sleep tonight. I love you." Alexis smiled to herself, considering the possibility of working on a relationship with Julian.

A/N: AND THIS IS FINALLY POSTED! I will update soon, hopefully. I have plenty of ideas for this, just not enough time. The next chapter will move more quickly through time and cover a lot.


	6. Chapter 6

vi

Julian was, but at the same time, wasn't all too surprised when Alexis came back through his door two days later. She hadn't texted him back, not once, since he had last seen her. Julian had barely managed to sleep since two nights ago; his phone was mocking him. He would get a notification on his phone in the middle of the night, and jump at it, thinking that maybe Alexis had texted him back. Relief was the first feeling that Julian felt when he saw Alexis in his doorway.

She was dressed in her normal attire: a black dress coat, a low-cut white shirt underneath it and a pencil-skirt. "Alexis, what brings you here?" It wasn't unlike Alexis to come unannounced; he just wanted to tease her for it.

"I'm sorry that I didn't call. I was just passing by on my way to work and I thought that I should stop by…" Alexis was saying her words awkwardly, stumbling over them. Julian took this as a good sign; Alexis was adorably awkward whenever she wanted to say something good to him.

"Do you want to come inside?

She nodded her head and Julian led her to the couch. She turned so that she could face him. "Um, so… I told Ned that he and I should stay friends. That's all he and I have been for such a long time, and besides he and Olivia have been getting cozy lately. Whatever I felt for him years ago is gone, if I had ever felt anything for him in the first place. I just thought that you should know because—well, because of what happened a couple days ago."

After the first sentence Julian had pretty much altogether stopped listening. He didn't need to hear more than that. He managed to catch "Whatever I felt for him years ago is gone," and that only boosted his confidence. He would let Alexis ramble on just a little longer; he found it beyond adorable.

"You know, maybe I just made a mistake in dating Ned." She let out a forced laugh. "He's betrayed me enough times, not that I haven't betrayed him. He and I have screwed up together more than we've ever succeeded in anything. I left him at the altar, for God's sakes. And this thing with Olivia… I knew he had some level of feelings for her going into this. I just wanted an easy way out of what I was feeling after we broke up. He was someone I knew well enough. It was just another bad choice I've made in my life."

Julian put a finger to her lips, "Alexis?" He moved his finger to caress cheek with his hand.

"Julian?" she said asked hopefully.

"You're rambling, darling," he leaned in and kissed her.

"I'm sorry."

"It's fine, I love it when you ramble on." He dragged a finger across her jawline. "It's one of the many things that I love about you."

"Julian Jerome, if you think that you're going to get me into bed this morning you are sorely mistaken!"

He smirked, "If I wanted sex we'd already be on the floor going at it."

"You're incorrigible."

"I've been called worse."

She kissed him. "I really need to get to work, Julian."

"You have twenty minutes to get to work. Have you eaten breakfast yet?"

"Well, no. I thought that I would get a muffin on my way."

"Why don't you join me for breakfast?"

"Just breakfast?"

"Unless you want something more," Julian said playfully, "just breakfast."

Julian made two omelets filled with cheese and spinach for them. Alexis was envious of his cooking skills, but also glad that she didn't have to starve herself this morning because of them. "Why can't you ever just make a bowl of cereal?"

He poured her a cup of coffee, "Because cereal is a sad excuse for breakfast." Julian sat down and dug into his omelet.

Alexis drank her coffee first. "So where did you learn how to cook?"

"My mother taught me. My father didn't want me in the crime business, so she decided one day to take me under her wing. At least this way I don't live off of the frozen meal section at the supermarket."

"Sounds like your dad was a smart man…" Alexis said under her breath before taking a sip of her coffee.

Julian chose to ignore the comment. "So Alexis, who taught you how to burn everything you cook?"

Alexis giggled. "God knows."

They finished their food quickly, only because Alexis had to get to work. Julian led her out, stopping her just before the door. "I know this isn't the best time to ask, but have you actually decided… Do you want to work on this—on us?"

Alexis sighed. "Yes, I want to work on this."

Julian smiled. "Okay, now I can let you go to work," he teased.

She kissed him, and very quickly it turned heated. Alexis closed the gap between them and squeezed his ass. She felt him grow hard against her thigh. He kissed her down her neck, pushing her against the wall. "I thought you said that you said that I wouldn't get you in bed today." He dragged a finger down her abdomen, making her moan out his name.

"You're not. I'm just going to leave you here, wanting more." Alexis pushed him away and made her way to the door.

He grabbed her by the waist. "Mmm, that's not the way this works." A hand drew circles in her right hip. "Remember what happened the last time you tried to leave me wanting more?" He stepped closer to her; she could feel his breath hot against the back of her neck. He moved her hair out of the way and pressed kisses along the back of her neck. "Do you need me to jog your memory?"

"Julian," she moaned out. He flipped her around suddenly; she let out a gasp. He slipped a hand underneath her skirt; she was already wet. He tempted her so sweetly. "Mmm, I need you."

He took his hand out of her skirt, kissed her forehead and stepped away from her. "Two can play at this game. Have a nice day at work, Alexis."

"You're infuriating." Alexis slammed the door behind her.

Over the next few weeks Alexis and Julian saw each other constantly. They would fight, break up and makeup about two seconds later. Alexis was quick to run, and Julian knew this all too well. She would get scared of the prospect of commitment; it was like a prison to her. He would chase her down and would inevitably find her in tears. Alexis would throw her arms around him and apologize for being stupid. Julian would shush her, in an attempt to calm her down. "You can run out on me a thousand times over," he would say, "but I know you'll always come back because you love me as much as I love you." Most of the time, Alexis would make it out of the door, turn around and stand there for a few minutes. It took only two seconds after running out for it to dawn on her that she was being stupid. He would open the door and look at her sadly. "Do you want to come back inside?" She would nod her head and they would make up. She hated doing this to him, but he understood why she did this. He understood her more than any other man had.

But on this particular day, exactly thirty eight days since they had come together; they were on an off day. They had fought last night about everything—Ava, Sam, Danny, Molly, the mob. It had all come out at once, all the built up worry, regret and anger. Alexis had had a stressful day at work, and she had hoped the Julian could bring her some comfort. He had, but nevertheless she was stuck in a less than savory mood and she had taken it out on him. She hadn't meant much of what she had said; most of what she had said just added to her mountain of regret.

She was having lunch at Kelly's that day with Danny. Sam knew that her mother and Julian had gotten into a fight the moment that her mother came home the day before. She was in uncontrollable tears. Sam had wondered how her mother had driven herself home.

_"Mom," Alexis remembered eldest daughter saying. "Is it something you said or something that dad said?"_

_ "It's my entire fault Samantha, all my fault." Sam wrapped her arms around her mother._

_ "You know he will forgive you." Sam knew this had to be bad; her mother wasn't denying that she and Julian were together. "He loves you too much."_

_ "I don't know if I can do this anymore, Sam. I've put your father through so much already. I don't know why he puts up with my anymore."_

_ "He puts up with you for the same reason you put up with him. He loves you."_

Alexis was taken out of her memory by Danny exclaiming "Grandpa!" happily, a big smile plastered on his face.

"Hey kiddo, look what I brought you!" Julian had brought Danny a little, blue stuffed dog. Danny was over joyed.

Alexis was smiling like an idiot. She loved the way Julian acted around kids. It made her wonder what he would have been like raising one—what it would have been like to raise Sam together.

"Hey Danny, if you press his belly it lights up like this." Julian pressed the stuffed dog's belly and it lit up, changing colors; green to red to dark blue. Danny giggled.

"Thank you," Danny said gleefully before getting completely absorbed by his new toy.

Alexis turned to Julian. "So I'm going to take it that you didn't show up here just by coincidence."

"Sam told me that you were going to be here. She's rather adamant on us getting back together and staying that way. She called me herself to tell me that I needed to talk to you, because you weren't going to come to me this time...at least not for a while."

Alexis picked up Danny's toy after he had dropped it. "I don't understand how you could possibly still want me after I've walked out on you for the hundredth time."

Julian smiled. "I've told you a hundred times over that I love you. Isn't that reason enough?"

Alexis' eyes were watery, but she refused to cry in front of her grandson. "Of course it is, Julian. I love you too. So am I forgiven for yesterday?"  
>"You were forgiven the moment we started to fight."<p>

They finished up their lunch and went to the park. The two grandparents played with their grandson. Julian watched Alexis as she pushed Danny on the swing, and his heart ached. He wished that he had gotten a chance with Alexis earlier. He was certain that if he had founder her years ago that they would have hit it off, gotten married and would have made a family together. Maybe it was only because that is what he dreamed of every night.

"You look tired, let me push him for a little while," Julian said.

"Thank you." Alexis kissed him—a simple peck on the lips. "You're wonderful."  
>Little did the two know Molly was walking by with TJ at that exact moment.<p>

Alexis had left Danny with Julian. He said he would take care of him for a couple more hours when Alexis said that she had to go home to get some work done. When Alexis entered the apartment, Molly was waiting on the couch, her arms crossed.

"Hey Molly, how was your day?"

"It was fine. What I'm wondering is how your day with Julian went."

Alexis suddenly felt a flash of heat wash over her; she felt sick to her stomach. The color in her face drained completely. She ran to the kitchen, flung open the lit of the garbage can and threw up.

"Oh my God, Mom!" Molly ran over to her mother and held her hair up as she threw up. She helped her mother up the stairs and to her bedroom. "Don't think that just because you're sick that it means that I won't talk to you about your relationship with Julian later. I'm not going to let you screw up our lives because of him."

Alexis had only half-heard what Molly had said. Frankly, Alexis was more than through with what her daughter had to say about Julian. She understood why Molly hated the man, but she was her mother and what she said was final.


	7. Chapter 7

vii

The vomiting hadn't stopped since the first incident when Molly had confronted her mother about her blossoming relationship with Julian Jerome. Alexis would feel fine when she woke up in the morning, for about half a minute, before she would run to the toilet and expel whatever contents of her stomach were left from the night before. At least Alexis knew when to expect it—once in the morning, once at noon, twice in the afternoon at three, then at four and then usually right after dinner she would run up to the upstairs toilet to at least dry heave. This pattern had allowed her to hide it from her family for the past week. She didn't want her family to get worried.

Her own worry was enough. At first she thought that it was just food poisoning, and then she told herself that it was the stomach flu. The prospect of her cancer returning was slim—back when she had had cancer vomiting was a symptom of chemo, not lung cancer itself. Over the next couple weeks, despite the vomiting, Alexis had noticed that her clothing was getting tighter—particularly around her abdomen. Then there was also the fact that she was constantly fatigued and would sometimes fall asleep at her desk at the office. This led to a new theory—one that completely terrified her.

She had gone out of town last weekend, telling Sam and Molly that she had to meet with a client and that it would take the better part of her day up. Once she was out of Port Charles she stopped at the nearest drugstore and bought several pregnancy tests—just one wouldn't do. She went to a diner and ordered a club soda and some toast. A few minutes later she ran into the bathroom and proceeded to use a few of the pregnancy tests. She waited for five minutes for the first one—it was an agonizing wait. Her heart was racing and she had nearly started to cry while she waited for the first test.

Low and behold, a small pink plus sign appeared on the test. Positive. She didn't know whether she was elated or completely distraught. Besides, one positive didn't mean anything. She used the next one. This one took three minutes—this one said "YES" in bold, red letters. It was like a warning signaling that read "BEWARE" instead of "YES".

She went out of that diner and into another one a few blocks away, ordered a drink and used the rest of the tests. The remaining three of them all told her the same thing: Alexis was pregnant with Julian Jerome's baby. After the fifth pregnancy test, she was in tears. A wobbly smile was spread across her face. She threw the pregnancy tests in the trash and tried to make herself look decent. She washed her face, reapplied her mascara and fixed her hair. "You can do this Alexis," she told herself "You're only forty-seven. You can still have another child, right? It's not the end of the world."

She walked out of the bathroom, a hand on her stomach. She drove home that night and entered the apartment with a pizza in her hands. She would avoid telling her family until she got an OBGYN to confirm the pregnancy—though she was sure that five pregnancy tests were more than enough to validate the pregnancy. "Sam, I brought pizza!"

"You have great timing! Molly, Danny and I are starving." Sam took the pizza from her mom. She noticed that her mom looked paler than usual. "Are you okay mom, you don't look so good."

"I'm fine, really. The client was being difficult and took a lot out of me."

Sam took the pizza from her mother, placed it on the coffee table by the sofa and went back to her mom. She looked like she was about to faint. "Why don't you go lie down? I'll make sure that Molly gets away from her romance novels and eats something."

"Sounds good, Sam." Alexis nearly fell down the stairs on her way up, but Sam had caught her in the nick of time.

Now that a week had passed since Sam first noticed that her mother wasn't feeling well, she kept a close eye on her. Her mother was hiding something and she wanted to know what that was. She had noticed every time that her mother went upstairs to vomit. At first Sam thought it was only a stomach bug, but as time passed she began to think that it was other things.

Another week had gone by and Alexis' morning sickness was getting worse. She had gone to an OBGYN and they had confirmed the pregnancy, telling her to come back in a few weeks so that she could hear her child's heartbeat. They had discussed the risks of a woman her age carrying a child, but that didn't change Alexis' mind on keeping the baby. However, it only made her feel extremely nervous about telling Julian about the baby. She was terrified of the prospect of telling him. She didn't even know if he would want it!

She hadn't seen Julian since a few days after she found out that she was pregnant. It had taken her a few days before she made the decision to keep the child a secret from him, until she at least made sure that it was strong and healthy. He had called her several times, but she had never answered. He came by her door one day when Sam and Molly were out. She was alone in the apartment with Danny, and he had decided to check up on her in person. The last time he had checked, they were in a relationship—or at least working on having one. Alexis told him that she needed time to clear her mind and that she would appreciate it if he would leave her alone for a while. Julian was ready to fight with her on this, but she slammed the door in his face. She had burst into tears that day, remembering the last fight that they had had.

"Julian, I've had a bad day. I really don't want to talk about it."

He raised an eyebrow. "Okay, but if you change your mind and you want to talk I would love to listen."

She sighed. "Maybe I made a mistake coming to you for comfort." She had already been cuddling with him on the couch watching Golden Girls for an hour before she had snapped and couldn't take it anymore.

"Do you want something to drink to calm your nerves?"

"No Julian. I don't know what I want right now."

"Okay, just calm down." He moved so that he could give her a hug, but she had moved away from him. "Alexis, something's really wrong if you're acting like this. Please tell me what it is."

"Why should I tell you when all you've ever told me are lies?" In retrospect, she shouldn't have said that. "Lies about your sister Ava, about your involvement in the mob? Why should I fucking tell you a single thing?"

Julian knew that she was saying these words only because she was mad at something or someone else, and he was willing to be her punching bag that evening. "Shh, Alexis, just relax. I don't want to fight with you about this. We've put it behind us."

"How could we have put it behind us if we haven't discussed it yet? I don't even know what you've been doing with the mob lately. I don't know how big of a danger I'm in, or my family—Molly, Danny, Sam."

"Alexis, none of this has to do with why you're mad. I hate seeing you like this."

She continued to berate him for the next fifteen minutes, and when he couldn't take it anymore he had fought back with words that stung just as painfully as hers had him.

Looking back on it, maybe this was the first symptom of her pregnancy that she had experienced—a violent mood swing. In truth, her day wasn't really all that bad. Nevertheless, that was how the fight had begun, and Alexis didn't want to remember another second of it. It only made her feel worse that she had just slammed the door in the love her life's face. She wanted to run after him, but a wave of nausea had struck her.

She continued to avoid Julian for the next few days, but her heart was telling her to chase after him whenever she told him to go away. If she had ever seen him anywhere she'd turn and walk off in the other direction. At first he made attempts to run after her, but soon let her have the time she had said that she needed, or so she had thought.

There had been one particular incident in the court house. The judge had reached a verdict on a lengthy divorce case. Alexis was beyond relieved that the case was finally over. She deserved a long break from her job, especially with a baby on the way. So far it hadn't been easy for her to relax. Alexis had saved up enough money in the bank over the years to take a break from work, and that was exactly what she was going to do.

With work, her family and the effort it took for her to avoid Julian at all costs, it was all wearing her thin. The most stressful of all of those things was avoiding Julian. She desired him every day and would fall into day dreams were she would think of him, all the things they had done and fantasize about a life that they could have with their growing child. Alexis had moments in the courtroom where she would completely lose track of what was going on and only think of Julian, the angles in his face, his soft hazel colored eyes and his lop-sided but handsome smile.

Alexis stepped out of the courthouse, and there, leaning against his car was Julian, twirling his car keys like some love stricken, high-school boy out of an 80's movie. He walked toward Alexis and her brain ceased to function; Alexis stood on the steps of the court house, completely frozen.

"What are you doing here?" Alexis stuttered.

"To remind you how much I love you." Julian's lips crashed against hers as he wrapped his arms around her waist, holding her firmly against him. Alexis was convinced that she was dreaming, but the way her heart was thumping in her chest and how hard her blood was rushing through her body made it seem all so real.

"I must be dreaming," Alexis said after she caught her breath.

"I assure you, this is very real." Julian slid his finger over her bottom lip. "I was thinking that we could go out for dinner and a movie—both your pick."

"I—I told you that we can't, Julian. I need some time—to think things over."

"The thing is I know when you're lying. You aren't thinking things over. You're scared of something, and whatever that may be I trust you'll tell me in time. Now can we please continue with our relationship before we both explode?"

She was completely flabbergasted. Never before had she met a man so understanding, so willing to go passed all of her rash idiosyncrasies. Julian Jerome was crazy, but then again she was too. She ran, he followed. They fit each other perfectly. "I don't know what I ever did to deserve you," Alexis breathed.

"I ask myself the same thing about you every day."

They continued their relationship, but Alexis kept Julian at an arm's length. She'd allow him to kiss her, but nothing more. He was not allowed to touch her abdomen, and whenever they kissed she kept a slight distance between them. Julian hated this, as did Alexis mind you, but he didn't say a thing. He would give her time, and he prayed to God every day that whatever was making Alexis act like this would blow over in a few days.

Alexis had started showing slightly—it was her forth pregnancy, but still she found this unusual. Shouldn't it be another couple of weeks before she started to show? She estimated that she was about eight weeks along now, maybe nine at most. Nevertheless, it would make it hard to hide from all of Port Charles, much less Julian. She had started to wear larger clothing in an attempt to hide it.

She listened to the messages that he sometimes left on her phone. Her favorite one was, "I don't know what I've done to get you mad at me, but I'm sorry for whatever it is. I love you. I hope you remember that." She remembered it all too well. Every night she would go to bed and listen to that message in particular, a hand lovingly caressing her small baby bump. She felt absolutely horrible for putting Julian through this—he had done nothing wrong and she was not mad. He was at his wit's end trying to figure out why Alexis was being so distant.

Sometimes when Julian and she slept together in the same bed she would wait until he went to sleep and would scooch closer to him. Carefully she would take his hand and put it against her abdomen, right where she imagined their baby was. He couldn't do this when he was awake—she would never allow him to. But at least at night, when he wasn't aware of it, she would let him hold her this way.

She was afraid of losing this baby. With the risks of pregnancy at her age, she didn't want to tell anyone the news and lose the baby the next day. She was trying to keep her stress level low, but it was nearly impossible while she was hiding her pregnancy from Julian. Not to mention, Molly was being more high-maintenance than usually. She claimed that she couldn't live with Alexis if Julian was her boyfriend. Alexis told her time and time again that she couldn't have a say in her love life, and that Molly should learn to accept it.

Molly had come into her room one day just as Alexis was about to throw up. Molly had decided to take the opportunity to badger her mother while Sam was out of the house. Alexis looked at Molly and the feeling of nausea was completely replaced by the feeling of annoyance.

"Mom, your boyfriend's at the door. He says that Sam called him," Molly practically spat the words out.

"Bring him upstairs. And don't use that tone of voice with me."

Molly rolled her eyes, but she did as she was told and brought Julian upstairs. "Here he is."

"Thank you Molly," Alexis and Julian said simultaneously. Molly walked out of the room, a very unhappy camper.

"Nice excuse. Molly wouldn't have let you in if you said anything else." She took in a deep breath. "So what brings you here today?"

"Maybe this isn't the best place, considering that Molly could be listening to every word that we're saying… But you've been so distant and you were avoiding me for weeks. I'm going crazy over trying to figure out why! If you decided that you don't want to have a relationship with me, I would rather you tell me than keep in the dark about what you're thinking." It was painful to say those words.

Alexis sat down on the bed and patted the spot next to her. He sat down next to her and turned to face her. "Julian…" Alexis didn't know what to say. "I'm avoiding you because I'm pregnant with your child and I'm scared to death of a million things. Most of all I'm scared that you'll leave me because you don't want it," didn't sound right.

"Yes, Alexis?"

"I don't know."

"Please, I'm tired of this game that we're playing. I want to be with you. I want to be a part of your family, and watch our grandson grow up together. If you don't want the same, tell me. When you're gone I feel like I'm missing a part of myself. I don't know what to do or say or think. I don't know if you feel the same anymore."

"I feel the same. Everything I've been doing, keeping you at arm's length, has been killing me. I love you more than words can express."

"Then why go through with it Alexis?"

Alexis looked him in the eyes, terrified beyond expression. "I—I can't tell you."

"Will you tell me soon?"

Alexis nodded as they both leaned in for the kiss they were both expecting. She kissed him fervently; she felt like there had been a drought and he was the rain that finally came after it. She needed him more than ever now. He gently pushed her back so that she would be lying on the bed. Alexis rolled onto her side, as that felt more comfortable. He lied down next to her and they continued making out. For a split second she forgot that she was pregnant and allowed his hands explore her body. His hands stopped at her stomach.

He noticed that something was different, and he let his hands stay there. Something dawned upon him—this new development was not just weight gain. He moved them slowly, up and down her abdomen. Alexis felt tension growing in the room. "Well, this is different," Julian finally said.

"I—I'm pregnant."

"I can see that." Julian was smiling, completely absorbed by the fact that Alexis—his Alexis—was pregnant.

"I didn't want to tell you."

He swore his heart stopped beating all together. Then his worst fear arose. "Is the baby—is the baby not mine?"

Alexis smacked him upside the head. "Of course the baby is yours you idiot!"

"Then I don't understand why you wouldn't want to tell me—why you would avoid me for weeks on end because of this?"

Alexis felt like she had shrunk to the size of a Lilliputian. "I didn't know if you would want the baby." Her voice was shaky.

"I want this baby as much as I want you. You have no idea how happy I am." He sensed that Alexis wasn't telling him everything. "But there's more."

"I wanted to wait until the next OBGYN appointment in a couple weeks before I told you anything… Because I wanted to make sure that the baby was healthy. A woman at my age being pregnant is so risky. I don't know what I would do if the baby wasn't healthy, and if you knew it would break my heart even more… What if I lose the baby tomorrow?"

"Then I'll be by your side like I have been for the past year. I would never leave you because of our child that's growing inside of you." Julian's voice got really quiet, "And if you lose it—" he quickly changed his mind, "I doubt that you will. A Jerome-Davis is bound to be strong like both of its parents."

"Excuse me— his or her last name will be Davis-Jerome."

"We'll discuss this later. But if it's a boy, we're naming him Julian." They burst into laughter.

Alexis smiled, feeling for one moment in her life that everything would be fine now that Julian knew. "I love you."

"I love you too, Alexis. You're the most wonderful woman in the world." They kissed, and from that moment on Julian knew what he had to do: He would get out of the mob, no matter the cost. With a baby on the way, he couldn't risk being a mobster. He was more than ready to get out of that life and settle down—be a family man.

Just as Julian got on top of Alexis, both of them still fully clothed, Sam walked into the door. "Mom, Molly seems unhappy… WAIT DAD WHAT?!" She covered her eyes. "I thought that I wouldn't have to experience this since I'm not a child, but I guess not." Well, at least this explained why Molly was so unhappy.

A/N: Sorry that it took me so long to update! Hope ya'll enjoyed reading as much as I enjoyed writing this!


	8. Chapter 8

viii

Julian had woken up one day to Alexis sitting up in bed, staring at the wall with a blank expression on her face. He sighed and sat up, putting his hand on her shoulder. "Alexis, is something wrong?" For a moment he was worried that she would tell him that she didn't want him to be a part of their child's life; it was one of his worst fears.

She looked at Julian, and he braced himself. "How are we going to tell Sam and Molly?"

Julian laughed.

"Why are you laughing? This is a serious question. My daughters may end up hating me for this."

"I'm laughing because I thought you would have said something worse."

"Like," she crossed her arms over her chest and pouted.

"It doesn't matter now." Julian lied back down in bed and pulled at her arm so that she would lie down too. Not all men were overly fond of cuddling, and he had been one of those men—until he had found Alexis. He breathed in the sweet scent of her hair and kissed the top of her head. "I don't think it's healthy to stress over this too much, Alexis. You don't want to hurt the baby. Now to answer your question, I think maybe we should tell them over dinner one day, whenever you're ready."

"I don't think I'll ever be ready to tell them."

"You don't have to tell them. Sooner or later they'll notice that you don't look the way you did before you were pregnant and they'll put two and two together."

"And I will slap you for calling me fat."

"I did no such thing. You are a very beautiful, very sexy woman, Alexis."

"I'd like to see you tell me that in a few months."

"I'll tell you every day for the rest of your life that you're the most beautiful woman in the world to me, if you want. It's the truth."

Alexis pushed herself up and placed a soft peck on his lips. "Enough with the sweet talk; it's time for breakfast."

Alexis and Julian were nervously sitting in the waiting room. After weeks of waiting, it was time for Alexis' OBGYN appointment; in other words, the couple was beyond anxious. Alexis would look over to Julian every few minutes and he would squeeze her hand, wordlessly saying, "It'll be okay, Alexis." She rested her head on his shoulder. Sometimes she thought that it was more comfortable than a pillow, and resting her head on his shoulder helped her to relax a bit.

Julian was glad that he was here with Alexis. If he wasn't, she would have been pacing around in the waiting room like a mad woman, her wild imagination getting the best of her; she would think of any possible terrible news that the doctor could give her, instead of focusing on how truly wonderful her pregnancy is.

"The wait is killing me," Alexis whispered.

"You and me both, but I don't think there should be a reason to worry." It was also good that they were completely alone in the waiting room—they weren't ready for a pregnancy reveal to all of Port Charles quite yet.

Alexis was adamant on keeping her pregnancy a secret until after this appointment. She planned on telling Sam and Molly as soon as she could after it, and then giving Kristina a call to update her on the more-or-less recent developments in her life. "Part of me wants to just get this over with, but another part of me is scared that the doctor's going to find something wrong with our baby."

"Alexis, don't worry. You're doing more harm than good by worrying like this." He shifted so that Alexis would take her head off of his shoulder and look at him. He gazed deep into her eyes. "Our child is just as strong as its mother, and I'm confident that there's nothing wrong with it." Julian looked around quickly, double-checking for any nurses who might wander in, and then put his hand on her side and leaned in to kiss her. It was a chaste kiss that left Alexis wanting more. "Please just calm down, if not for me, for our little one." He put his hand on her stomach.

"Only if you kiss me one more time." She didn't need to ask twice.

Alexis was lying on the exam table, looking up at the ceiling. She was counting the number of holes in one of the ceiling tiles in attempt to get her train of thought away from all the disastrous bits of news that were piling up in her head. Julian was sitting in a chair next to the exam table, leaning forward with his legs spread open and arms resting on them, his hands clasped together tightly. He was as frightened as Alexis was by the prospect of her having this child. He knew she was a bit older than what is the normal age to have a child, and he didn't think it mattered all too much—before he had done some research.

All the genetic disorders, the birth defects, low birth weight, the list went on and it did nothing to assure Julian that everything would be okay. His number one job was to convince Alexis that nothing would go wrong, that their child would be as perfect and as healthy as either of them could hope for it to be. There were still months of the pregnancy left, and only time would tell.

The doctor came in, greeting them warmly. He was a short man in his mid-fifties who had a cheerful smile and a crooked nose. He was somewhat handsome, but nothing out of the ordinary. Nonetheless, Julian was on his guard. Couldn't they have assigned Alexis a female doctor? "Hello, Miss Davis. You brought your husband this time, I see."

The doctor held his hand out to Julian, "Julian Jerome, and Alexis and I are not married."

"My apologies. I'm Dr. Schlokopf."

After a moment of tension that was endured in silence, Dr. Schlokopf began probing Alexis. He asked all kinds of questions, from her daily routines to how she was feeling about the pregnancy. Julian stayed silent, though he was completely irritated by all of these questions. Alexis grabbed hold of his hand at one point, either because she was scared of what the doctor may tell her or because she wanted Julian to calm down—he wasn't quite sure.

Alexis on the other hand was taking the questions like any expectant mother would—needless to say, she was blowing them out of proportion and taking them as a sign that the doctor would say that something is wrong with their child. When the questioning was finally over, Alexis allowed herself to finally breathe.

"I think it's time to see your baby, what do you say?" the doctor asked cheerfully.

Alexis answered with a silent "yes" and Julian nodded his head.

She lied down on the examination table and lifted her shirt up. While the doctor spread a clear gel over Alexis' growing abdomen Julian shifted in his seat. He had to mentally argue with himself not to yell at the man for man-handling his girlfriend. Maybe he should have told him that Alexis was his wife and risk getting scolded later because of it. All the passive-aggressive thoughts disappeared from Julian's head the moment their baby appeared on screen. He was overcome with an explosive, all-consuming feeling of joy. His eyes were watery, but he did not cry. He looked over to Alexis who was crying, the tears slipping down her cheeks beautifully. He moved her bangs to the side gently, bent over and kissed her forehead.

After pointing out a few features of the baby, Doctor Schlokopf asked sweetly, "The baby looks healthy. Everything seems to be normal. Would you like to hear the heartbeat?" Those statements made the couple jump for joy.

"Of course we would," Julian blurted out before Alexis could manage to speak.

The doctor smiled widely. The sound of a very quick heartbeat filled the room. Dr. Schlokopf's brows furrowed. Alexis and Julian both looked at him, their hearts dropping. From the look on his face, they could tell that something was wrong. It felt as if time had stopped.

Dr. Schlokopf moved the ultrasound device and the image on the screen changed drastically. "Congratulations," the doctor began, "you're expecting twins!"

They looked at the doctor dumbfounded, "Twins?!" they exclaimed in unison.

"It is rare for a woman your age to conceive, much less conceive twins, but as you can see, you are pregnant with twins. A pair of healthy twins with equally strong heart beats."

The couple didn't know what to say, they just stared at each other, sometimes smiling.

"Judging from all of this, I would say that you are about twelve weeks along."

All that happened afterwards, everything that the doctor had said after that—it was all a blur. The shock was immense. Julian and Alexis went home, making only small talk. The car ride was agonizingly long. Alexis couldn't even look at Julian as he drove them home.

Twins? Alexis had barely just begun to accept the fact that she would raise another child to adulthood, let alone two. Two babies! And what if she lost them at some point in the pregnancy? It wouldn't be just one life, but two. Two lives taken away from her would drive her heart to the grave. It occurred to her that she would have Julian by her side to help her, but what if he wasn't going to want two babies? They weren't bound by marriage; he wasn't obligated to be with her. He could walk out on her, if he were to change his mind. Two babies was more than he bargained for, she convinced herself.

When they entered the apartment, they found themselves alone. Sam and Molly had gone off God knows where, and they were stuck with a silent tension brewing between them. Alexis was just about to head off into the kitchen to hide for a while when Julian had grabbed her from the behind.

"Where do you think you're going, Alexis?" he whispered into her ear.

"I was going to the kitchen," Alexis stuttered out.

"Wrong answer."

Julian slowly walked around her, dragging a finger along her hip as he did. Finally when he faced her, he cupped her face. "You are a wonderful woman," Julian said before he kissed her sweetly. "You've given me so much more than I could ever ask for." He began kissing her jawline.

He heart beat like a battle drum in her chest. She suddenly felt faint, but Julian held her up with his strong arms at her hips. "You're not mad that it's twins?"

"I'm overjoyed." Julian pulled Alexis closer to him and whispered into her ear, "Is that why you didn't say anything to me, because you were afraid that I would be mad at you for giving me the most beautiful gift in the world?"

Julian had somehow managed to take so many of her fears away by saying that. "I'm so stupid."

"I would have to disagree." He pecked her on her lips. "You are an intelligent," he pecked her lips again, "strong," and again, "sexy woman that I love."

"You always know what to say, don't you?"

"I would hope so."

Alexis laughed. "Let's take this upstairs before Sam and Molly end up catching us." The carnal need for him was already brewing in her core.

"Your wish is my command, my lady."


	9. Chapter 9

ix

Alexis had woken up one morning and decided that today was the day she would tell her children that two little brothers or sisters would be joining the family in several months. She was about thirteen weeks along and decided that it was a now-or-never sort of deal. Julian had decided to make a wonderful dinner for his family in honor of the occasion. It consisted of garlic-chicken, oven roasted potatoes and a side of sautéed carrots and onions. He was proud of the work he was doing, and Alexis was extremely appreciative of it. She wrapped her arms around him lovingly from the behind. "It smells great in here."

"I'm glad it's not making your morning sickness act up."

"Your cooking never does."

"You liar." He turned around and placed a chaste kiss on her lips. "So what do you want for dessert?"

"Other than you, maybe I could stop by Kelly's and get some pie? You've already worked so hard in the kitchen today. I'm sure Molly and Sam would be glad that they'll have real food for dinner this evening."

"Thank you."

"I'm going to go stop by the office and get a few things for the case I'm working on and I promise I'll come back with a pie. Do you have any preference?"

"Apple would be fine. Come back soon." Julian continued cooking as Alexis went off to the office, not forgetting to playfully slap his ass before leaving, mind you.

Alexis was having trouble carrying an overly-large box filed with files to her car. She stumbled in the parking lot as she attempted to securely grip the box. Had she not been pregnant, she would have jabbed the box into her side and wouldn't have struggled with it. She almost tripped when someone caught her at the last second.

"Oh!" she exclaimed, shocked. "Thank you."

"No need to thank, dear." The voice was eerily familiar.

She gulped when she heard the low, gravelly voice. His British accent unnerved her to no end. She felt like she had been pushed into a pit. "Jerry," she stated firmly, though on the inside she had been reduced to a trembling mass of fear.

"Is that how you great an old friend, Alexis? No hugs, no kisses? I never thought that you would be so unwelcoming."

"Oh, I don't know—considering that you drugged me, attempted to take me hostage in hopes that I would magically fall in love with you and tormented everyone I ever loved, I could never muster a polite greeting for you," Alexis spat. "Now, I would appreciate it if you would leave, Jerry."

He took the box from Alexis. "Not until I help you with this box. You do seem to be struggling, dear. How could you say no to some help?"

Alexis laughed, throwing her head back. "That's rich. Help from you—I could refuse a thousand times over."

"Mmm, I do love it when you're difficult."

Alexis felt beyond disgusted by this man. She had once had a relationship with him, and maybe she had _loved _him at one point, but now he was one of her mistakes that she hoped she would never have to think of again. Clearly, she was not graced with the luxury of being free of Jerry Jacks for the rest of her life. He had a knack for coming back from the dead and showing up randomly in Port Charles to wreak havoc.

She shuffled for her car keys and unlocked her car. "There, just put it in and you can leave."

Jerry graciously put the box in the back seat and looked at Alexis. "Tell Julian that I hope he's doing well. He has no idea how lucky he is to have you."

Why would he mention Julian now? Julian had told her he hadn't seen the man in over a year. Part of her speculated that Jerry mentioned him only to unnerve her. Before she could even open her mouth to speak, Jerry placed a kiss on Alexis' cheek. "Do take care, I'll see you soon." He bolted out of the parking lot before Alexis could even raise her hand to slap him across the face. She was now alone in the parking lot, her mouth agape. She needed to go home to wash the filth off her face, and on her way back she had forgotten to stop by Kelly's to get the apple pie.

Julian was waiting for Alexis on the couch while his chicken was in the oven, and when she had opened the door struggling to carry the overly large box he jumped up and took it from her. She didn't thank him directly, but instead kissed him on the cheek. Looking at Alexis, Julian could tell that something was wrong. He didn't have much time before the girls would come home, so he made a mental note to ask her about it later.

Julian carried the box upstairs and Alexis followed him. "I'm almost finished with dinner. Did you get the pie?"

"Oh my God, I'm sorry I completely forgot!"

Julian set the box down and turned around to see Alexis staring at her feet, tears dripping onto the floor. "What's wrong?" Julian wrapped his arms around Alexis. "It's okay—we can have a great dinner without the pie."

"I'm sorry I'm just having some stupid mood swing."

"It's not stupid. If you need to cry, then cry. I'll be here to hold you until you're done."

"Thank you." Alexis closed the space between them, burying her head in his chest. She breathed in his musky scent, and it sent her into a trance. She was completely lost in it, and eventually forgot why she was even crying.

Julian kissed the top of her head. "Sam and Molly are going to be home any minute." He stepped away from her slowly, his hands caressing her face. He wiped away her last few tears with his thumbs. "Everything will be okay." Julian smiled his usual, endearing lopsided smile.

"Yeah, you're right. I'm sorry about the pie though." In the back of her mind, Alexis thought of Jerry Jacks who had sprung up out of hell and into the parking lot of Mason, Petrovich and Miller.

"I already said it was fine."

The dinner was exceptionally great. The only thing missing was Lucas. When Julian called him to invite him over for dinner, Lucas had said he was out of town and wouldn't be back for another few weeks. They family made small talk throughout the meal, and Alexis stuttered throughout the conversation. She was beyond nervous and Julian had noticed. He squeezed her hand lightly under the table and Sam had noticed that something was going on. It wasn't every day that it looked like her mother was about to explode, and it was an even rarer occasion for them to have a nice family dinner like this one. Molly on the other hand was the least bit suspicious. She was busy silently loathing Julian, glaring at him and sometimes refusing to answer a question that he had asked her. Julian was desperate to make Molly warm up to him. He understood that she was still angry with him about Ric, but he also thought that enough time had passed for her to get over the grief.

Molly couldn't stand eating dinner with Julian for another second, but the food was delicious. He was a good cook; she would give him that at least. She shoveled the food in her mouth as quickly as possible. When she finished her plate off, she stood up and excused herself from the table. Alexis stopped her.

"Molly, could you wait a second?"

"Why? I finished my dinner," Molly whined, sinking back into her chair.

"Julian and I have something to announce." The couple then stood up.

Sam raised her eye brow in curiosity. Molly crossed her arms over her chest in defiance.

Julian looked at Alexis, speaking to her with his eyes. "You can do this," his eyes spoke to her.

"Well, um," Alexis began hesitantly.

"We know this might be a shock to you; it certainly was for us," Julian continued for Alexis. They were in this together; he had to make sure that Alexis was aware of that.

"And we hope that you'll be happy with this news…" Alexis looked over to Julian, and she noticed that he was nervous too. They were both smiling awkwardly as they tried to muster the words they needed to say. "So I guess it's best to just say it—we're expecting."

"Expecting what exactly?" Molly exclaimed, her voice shrill.

"I'm pregnant," Alexis said bluntly.

"With twins," Julian piped in.

"Mom!" Sam jumped out of her seat and ran over to her mother, throwing her arms around her. "I'm so happy for you both. I can't believe this!"

Molly on the other hand was convinced that this was the end of the world. "Aren't you too old for this?" Was all the Molly could say.

"I'll have you know that I'm only forty seven."

"And what about all the stuff you talked about protection and safe sex? What about not making stupid decisions and screwing your own life up? WHAT ABOUT FUCKING CONSIDERING WHAT I THINK FOR ONCE IN A WHILE?" Molly bolted up the stairs, slamming her bedroom door furiously. She landed on her bed, groaning, and shoved a pillow over her mouth in order to muffle her screaming. Julian Jerome had ruined her life in many ways. Molly thought that her mother would get over Julian like she had with so many other men that were in the mob. Why couldn't her mother see that she was making a dire mistake, and now that Julian had so eagerly impregnated her mother with his devil-seed, she had no hope that her life would be improving any time soon.

"Mom, please don't take anything that Molly said to heart. She's shocked, and I'm sure she'll come around soon." Sam was trying to calm her mother down, but Alexis was silent. That was never a good sign. "Hey, if it makes you feel any better I'm sure that once we tell Lucas he'll go out to Babies R' Us or something and buy the my little brothers or sisters a truckload of baby clothes and toys."

Alexis smiled a wobbly smile as Julian patted her gently on the back. He didn't know what to say to her and felt like no matter what he said, Alexis would end up driving herself crazy because of the way Molly had spoken to her. He had seen Molly tell her off on many occasions, but never in his life had he seen Molly swear to Alexis. It was almost natural, and it had hurt him to hear it, but nowhere near as much as it had hurt Alexis. She had felt as if a knife had been jabbed into her heart.

"And hey, I couldn't even tell that you're pregnant. How far along are you?"

"About thirteen weeks," Julian answered when Alexis opened her mouth, but no words would come out.

"And I've been trying so hard to cover it up." Alexis finally spoke. She lifted up her oversized sweater. Underneath it she was wearing a tank top that was slightly tight around her baby bump.

Sam laughed. "Well looks like you did a pretty good job of it." Sam placed a hand on her mother's abdomen. "It's all so surreal. I can't believe that my siblings are growing inside there."

Alexis was smiling brightly. Sam had done an exceptional job in lightening the mood and making her forget about Molly's little show of discontent just a few moments ago.

"I know; me too. Sometimes I wake up to this and think I'm dreaming," Alexis whispered. "And I'm so happy when I realize that this amazing gift is in fact reality."

Julian's heart soared when he heard Alexis say those words. He was elated that she expressed how happy she was about her pregnancy so openly to Sam. At first, he couldn't believe his ears, but when it sunk in that he wasn't delusional, he was ready to jump for joy. The two women he loved most in the world were off talking about what the baby's room would like and all the other things pregnant women and their friends would talk about. Julian stood their smiling. He truly felt like he had it all and then some.

Jerry threw Lucas against the ground brutally, blood gushing from Lucas' broken nose. "Let's see how your father will react when he sees his dear soon all bruised and battered. Does he really think that he can just go off and quit on the business without paying a price? Not just that, but also going after the woman I love—the very woman who is supposed to be mine. I can't believe that Alexis would choose that buffoon over me. But I'll change that. I'll drive him so deep in the mob that he'll have no chance of appealing to Alexis ever again."

Lucas let out a strangled cry as Jerry took out his camera and took pictures of his severely beaten body. Deep lacerations were on his chest, he had two black eyes and a cut lip on his face, not to mention that his nose was broken beyond recognition. Lucas had stopped feeling the pain long ago, and that feeling of pain had been replaced with pure numbness.

Jerry laughed a wickedly. "We'll see how long it takes before your dad comes to rescue you. But the real question is: Will he choose you over Alexis?"

Julian woke up the next morning to his phone's vibrating loudly against the night stand. He thanked God underneath his breath that it hadn't woken Alexis up. He groggily grabbed his phone and saw that he had received a text. Julian bit his tongue to suppress the colorful word that he was about to shout. The sight of his son beaten to a pulp had hit him like a ton of bricks. He got out of the bed and got dressed as silently as he could. He had tried getting out of the mob once and Lucas had almost been killed. This was the second time he had tried, and the same was happening all over again. It was time that he went to someone who could protect the rest of his family as well as save Lucas. It was time to depend on the one woman he abhorred more than anyone else.

He exited the apartment and drove his car at an absurd speed to the Port Charles Police Department. He swore under his breath, already feeling a migraine coming as he exited his car. He couldn't believe that he was about to do this. He hoped that Commissioner Devane wouldn't laugh too hard when he stepped into her office, literally begging for her to help him. He imagined himself on his knees before her, pleading and in tears as she laughed like the she-devil she was, mocking him cruelly. But Julian Jerome had no other choice; he had to do what was right and what was best for his family. They were above everything else in the world—including his dignity.


	10. Chapter 10

x

Julian dragged himself into Anna Devane's office. He was having second thoughts about this entire escapade; however he knew that this was something that he was meant to do. No one was forcing him to do this, however he felt self-obligated, trapped in cage that he wouldn't let himself escape.

The police commissioner looked up from her papers and upon seeing Julian she immediately returned to her paperwork, refusing to acknowledge his presence. He took the liberty to sit himself down in a chair. "Oh Miss Devane while I'm sure today's crossword in the paper is quite fun, you have more important things to attend to."

"You're right Mr. Jerome, taking the trash out of my office is far more important than solving my crossword." Anna smirked.

"While I do love to fight with you, unfortunately I'm here on more pressing business."

"And that would be?"

"I want out of the business. I'll tell you what you want to know—I'll tell you everything I know."

She dipped her head back and let out a laugh that lasted a little too long. "Oh, that's rich! Did your boss put you up to this, or are you here because Alexis walked out on you again?"

"I understand why you would be skeptical, however—"

"Mr. Jerome I have no time for your false allegations. So, if you would kindly see yourself out—"

"I will not leave. I am here to give you the information you need in order to take my boss down," Julian slammed his hands on the desk, "And I would greatly appreciate it if you would stop mocking me as you are now."

"Touched a nerve, have I?"

"Police Commissioner," he breathed coldly. He stared her in the eye, and at that moment a sort of understanding formed between the two. "I will tell you what I know, and only after I tell you will you kick me out of your office."

"Very well, Mr. Jerome, but make it quick."

Before Julian could open his mouth, the door to Anna's office opened. "Ms. Davis, how nice of you to join us!" the Commissioner exclaimed.

Julian turned around. "Alexis, why are you here?"

"Sam called me and told me she saw you going into the police station. When I texted you, you didn't respond. I wanted to make sure that everything was alright."

"I'm fine, Alexis. Everything is okay."

"Then why are you here?"

"He's here to tell me who his boss is," Anna butted in.

Alexis was taken aback. "Without a lawyer?" Alexis questioned, but what she was really asking was "Without telling me first and bringing me along?"

"Maybe I didn't think this through to the fullest of my ability."

Sensing the tension between the couple, Anna took the opportunity to make things even worse for Julian. "Alexis, would you like to sit down? I'm sure that Julian would love for you to hear what he has to say."

Alexis looked to Julian first and when he gave a small nod she stepped forward and sat down. When Alexis sat down Anna noticed something different about Alexis; she noticed that Alexis was pregnant. Was that why Alexis stuck around Julian? Because she was knocked up by a mobster and now that she was carrying his child, she felt like she had no other choice? Then Anna thought of Duke, and maybe by the slightest chance—Alexis was with Julian because she loved him.

"Well Mr. Jerome, why don't you start by telling me all you know—questioning you will be pointless, in my opinion."

Julian cleared his throat. Alexis and Anna were both watching him carefully, and it was only unnerving him. "Under the witness protection program I came across a man. He introduced himself to me as Peter Caspin. I told him a bit about myself, and told him that I was Julian Jerome before entering the witness protection program.

"And what did he tell you about himself?" Alexis asked. She was afraid to jump the gun and yell out "then take us to this Peter Caspin guy!" She felt like there was much more to this story.

Julian turned to Alexis, but kept the Commissioner in his peripheral vision. The conversation would continue more between Alexis and Julian with the Commission standing by, listening attentively to every word. "He wanted to talk about the business. It was strange for this guy, who was supposedly under the witness protection program, wanting to dive back into the business. But he tempted me; he told me about how he could make the Jerome family a name to be feared again, how we could expand our territory to beyond what my father ever thought possible!" Julian took a deep breath, waiting for Alexis to say something, but when she didn't he continued his story. "He had money, he had the resources—I thought that maybe as Derek Wells and with this guy by my side, I'd be able to achieve what I wanted to achieve. We made Wells Media as a cover for an illegitimate enterprise in order to take down Sonny."

Alexis did not enjoy hearing this; Julian was showing the darker side of himself. While it thrilled her to her core, it also made her want to slap him for thinking those things, even though he thought them long ago. Nevertheless, she wanted, no she needed to hear the rest of this story. "And then you showed up in Port Charles, correct?"

Julian nodded. "But before we even stepped in Port Charles, this Caspin guy told me something strange. He said that there was another man living here that looked exactly like him. That man is Luke Spencer. This Luke Spencer look-alike is my boss."

Alexis balled her hands up into his fists. "When I asked you about Luke, why would you hide this from me?" Alexis whispered her voice icy.

"Because you asked me if I worked for Luke Spencer. I told you the truth. I do not work for him." Julian paused. He knew that there was much more that he needed to say, and none of it would make Alexis happy. "Eventually Peter Caspin turned out to be an alias, and I doubt that that name will help anyone now.

"As time went on, this man got crueler. I really didn't believe in evil until I saw what he was turning into. I had tried to get out of the business, and when I did he started targeting everyone that I love. When he organized Lucas' shooting, I had to go back. He gave me no other choice. He would have killed every single person I ever loved until I 'came back to work' so to speak."

"Wait—so you mean Ric was never your boss. Ric didn't shoot Lucas?"

"Yes, that is exactly what I'm saying." Julian was looking at his feet and he was prepared for Alexis to lash out on him; he deserved it for keeping this from her.

"Ric was an innocent man. Molly is completely destroyed because you allowed Ric to be framed! I trusted you Julian; I believed you, even when my daughter was so adamant in convincing me that Ric had nothing to do with Lucas' shooting."

"Alexis, I had no choice. My boss was ready to kill all of you. He doesn't care whether or not he kills all of Port Charles to get what he wants."

"You always have a choice Julian. You could have gone to the PCPD earlier. You could have told me." Alexis stood up and Julian grabbed hold of her arm. She shook him off and stormed off, unable to listen to Julian any longer."

"Well what are you doing—just laze around here? Go after her, come back and we'll finish this where you left off."

This was the one time that Anna Devane was ever right in Julian's eyes. "I'll be back soon." Julian ran out of the Commissioner's office and kept running until he could grab a hold of Alexis. He put a hand on her shoulder.

Alexis looked Julian in the eye, staring him down. Seething fury was emanating from her, a vain popping out of her forehead. "I can understand you keeping your boss' identity from me. I can understand you not wanting to put my family in danger by keeping your boss' plans from me. But not telling me about Ric—how could you?"

"Alexis, I tried. The night that Ric was arrested and Elizabeth came over to tell you; she interrupted us in the middle of my attempt to tell you that Ric was innocent. Don't you remember? Afterwards, I gave up on telling you. It was already too late. What difference would it have made? I even once attempted to tell Molly, but you interrupted us in the middle of the conversation. Ric was dead, and even if I had said that Ric was not my boss, my real boss would have framed Ric in any case. My boss is a diabolical mastermind who will stop at nothing—absolutely nothing—to get what he wants."

"You hurt my daughter. Her heart is ripped to pieces because her father is dead." She had pushed Julian up against the wall, her hands at his sides. "I trusted you, Julian. I trusted you over my daughter.

"Alexis, I didn't have a choice."

"You always have a choice. The law could have saved Ric from his fate. Anna could have given him twenty four hour protection, given all of us twenty four hour protection! There were so many other ways to go about this, Julian! Did any of them ever cross your mind before? Did you ever consider the safe way, the right way?"

"Alexis, when my boss wasn't the cruel tyrant I could have gotten out that way. I would have been able to lift my hands from all of this crime back then, but I was in the business to my neck at that point and he was threatening to suffocate me and my family in it if I didn't do exactly what he wanted. When I went against him once—Lucas almost died. I'm doing what I thought was best. In retrospect, there was no good way out. I was trapped, Alexis."

"I do understand that, but there are so many I's in your statements and it's making me wonder if you ever valued what I thought, what our family thought? Julian, did you ever consider that you'd be ripping this family, the one that was just reunited, to shreds by making these choices on your own." She pushed Julian against the wall even harder, bruising his arms in the process.

"I thought once that I was making the best decisions by doing what I thought was right. That's why I went to the police commissioner today—because I'm taking the chance to fix this problem the way you think is right. And maybe, Alexis, you are right—I should have dealt with things differently, but I cannot turn back the clock. I cannot bring Ric back from the dead and hand Molly the father she thought would be great for her. We need to get passed this and focus on the future, because right now with two children on the way I can't risk losing you again. I love you, Alexis."

"Why, Julian, just why?" Alexis had lost her capability of thinking. The truth came barreling toward her a thousand miles an hour and it hit her hard. She felt winded, and she held onto Julian. She felt like she would fall to the ground if she let go of him.

"Because we do the things we do for those we love. They may not be the best of choices, but they are always with good intentions. I know you're mad, but please think it over. I will give you time, I will give you space, but when you're done thinking—believe me, I plan on working on everything between you and I no matter what conclusion you come upon. I love you more than I ever thought humanly possible, Alexis." Julian was done waiting for Alexis' reactions. He wrapped his arms around her, kissing the top of her head. He took his chances; he was well aware that she might push him away or lash out on him. But, Alexis sunk into his touch.

"I don't understand how I can simply melt like ice to a flame with you. No matter how furious I am with you, no matter how much you hurt me—you make me feel better just by holding me in your arms. Sometimes I think something is wrong with me."

"And what about the other times?"

"That I love you," Alexis voice was low and hushed, but as smooth as silk.

Julian smiled into her hair.

"But don't think for a second that that changes anything, because at the end of the day I will have to tell Molly about what you told me, and I will also have to take time to forgive you." Alexis stepped away from Julian, keeping a finger on his chest and keeping him an arm's length away from her. "Now I believe that we should finish our conversation with Commissioner Devane."

"I apologize for the interruption," Alexis said when they sat down.

"It's not a problem." Anna turned to Julian, "Now, I assume recent events have made you want to come here and relay this information. Other than Alexis' pregnancy, what made you want to come?" Alexis nearly cringed when Anna mentioned her pregnancy. She wasn't trying to hide it anymore, but was it really that noticeable?

Julian took out his phone and showed Anna the most recent text he had received. "This morning I woke up to this text from an unknown number. My boss must have taken his anger out on Lucas when I refused to respond to any of his calls. You can't track the text, I've already tried." The picture of Lucas bruised and battered was displayed on his screen. Alexis put her hand over Julian's; she was angry with him, but she wanted to comfort him because she knew that this picture of his son was internally tormenting him. "I want whoever did this to my son locked up until the end of time."

"Is there any more information that you need to tell me, Mr. Jerome?"

"The real Luke Spencer is being held at Miscavage. The night of his rescue, the look-alike was taken. I don't know anything more."

Alexis had heard him say those words, and she didn't think that yelling out would make the situation any better. She would give Luke into the hands of the PCPD and pray that he return home safely.

"Thank you, Mr. Jerome. If you remember any other pertinent information, contact me as soon as possible."

Julian and Alexis arrived home separately. They were more or less greeted by Molly's eye roll. She walked upstairs into her room, refusing to talk to either of them.

Julian was about to go upstairs before Alexis stopped him. "I'm not going to tell her, not yet. She deserves to know, but I have this feeling that if I tell her now it'll be the biggest mistake of my life."

"Alexis, it's not my place to decide when you tell her. Whenever you tell her, she'll only hate me more. And I'm not sure how much you hate me now because of this." Julian didn't wait for Alexis' response. He was trying to suppress all the negative feelings welling up inside of him and he felt like he needed to be alone for a while. He locked himself in the guest room for an hour, staring at the picture of Lucas on his phone periodically until he finally threw his phone and watched it shatter against the wall.

A/N: I hope you enjoyed this!

The next chapter will be a time-skip to a few weeks later. A few new characters will be making appearances in the chapters to come. I will try to update again this weekend!


	11. Chapter 11

xi

Julian had been giving his family the cold shoulder for weeks. The man was obviously depressed, and the way he coped with recent events resulted in his icy disposition. It broke Alexis' heart to see him like this. She was still angry with him, but she was slowly forgiving him. She thought back to the last time they had slept in the same bed together; after a week of sleeping in the guest room Julian had caved and longed for Alexis' touch. He snuck into bed one night, and held her close to his body. She remembered the way his fingers laced themselves into her hair as he brought his lips down upon hers. She felt him harden against her and thrill welled up in her body as she waited in anticipation for him to kiss her one more time. Without warning, he had stood up and left Alexis. He muttered an apology as Alexis croaked out his name. He didn't come back to the bed for two weeks after that incident, and Alexis felt deprived. She craved his touch, needed to feel him against her body.

Whenever he would choose to speak to someone, it was brief and distant. Sam had once tried to make him feel better, but instead of paying attention to his daughter's efforts he went to play with Danny—the one person in the family who could not pester him about his inner turmoil. Sam was genuinely concerned, but she gave up on attempting helping him heal; she thought that maybe with time he would come to his senses and start acting like himself again. Alexis on the other hand thought he needed her as much as she needed him, and refused to say anything because he felt weak on the inside.

Alexis found herself to be unable to sleep for nights on end and would climb down the stairs, grab a book off the shelf and read in the living room until she passed out from exhaustion. She knew this wasn't healthy for the babies, but without Julian by her side she slowly found herself becoming an insomniac.

Julian stumbled down the stairs one night and went into the kitchen for a glass of water. On his way out he spied Alexis on the couch, passed out with a book sitting open over her belly. He sighed and tip-toed over to her quietly and gently took the book off of her. He bent down and placed a soft kiss on her abdomen; he noticed that she had grown quite a bit in the past few weeks—it made his heart flutter knowing that his children were growing inside of her. He glanced over to her quickly, checking to see if she had woken up. He was glad that she hadn't. He lifted her up off the couch slowly and carried her bridal style up to her bedroom.

He set her down on the bed and covered her with the blanket. He turned to leave, but she had grabbed his hand. "Julian," she muttered groggily. "Stay, please. I need you."

"You don't need me when I'm like this," Julian whispered harshly.

Alexis stood up from the bed and wrapped her arms around him, "I need you, always." She began placing kisses on his shoulder. "Let me love you. Let me help you heal." She dragged her hands across his chest.

"Oh God, Alexis. I can't do this, not right now." Julian tried to step away from her, but she did not allow it. "Please, don't torture me like this."

Alexis walked around him slowly, holding his hand the entire time in fear that if she let him go he would run from her. She was ready to be the tempting vixen she knew that she once was. "You've been torturing me for weeks. I'm like a field in a drought. My thirst needs to be quenched." She slowly brought her lips up to his, stopping just as they brushed up against his, then pulling back.

Julian retaliated; hungrily bringing his lips upon her. Alexis dipped her hands into his boxers and pushed them onto the ground. Julian took off her night gown at a painstaking pace, letting his fingers linger in the spots of her body that made her gasp. Alexis pushed him onto the bed. She got on top of him, but he rolled her over so that he would be on top. He needed to dominate her, to make her mewl and squirm with want for him as she begged for him to allow her to come.

They made love slowly, challenging each other to be as quiet as possible in order to let the others sleep. Julian bit down on her lip once in order to quiet an oncoming moan. She stifled his groans with her mouth eagerly. He teased her, bringing her to the brink of orgasm only to take her away from it, over and over, until she was begging him, squirming underneath him, to allow her release. She arched her back as they came, whispering his name into his ear, making his skin break out into goosebumps.

Julian turned his back to her when they were finished making love, but she put her arm around him, needing to be closer to him. "Please don't be so distant. It's killing me to see you like this. Talk to me; say something."

"I wouldn't know what to say."

"Tell me you love me."

Julian turned around to face her and gazed into her beautiful deep brown eyes, "I love you more than words could ever express. Don't doubt that."

"I love you too, and I want you to know that I—I forgive you for Ric… I'm angry, but I forgave almost instantaneously, deep down, when you told me the truth."

"Thank you, but I don't deserve your forgiveness."

"Yes, you do. You deserve it because you are a wonderful man who has made so many sacrifices—so many that I would lose track if I were to count them all." Alexis put her hand to his cheek, caressing his face lovingly. "Everything you do for me, for our family, make me love you even more, if that is even possible. I don't want to see you spiraling down this road of depression. Please, tell me what's going through your head."

Julian cleared his throat, finally relenting to her. "I feel so useless. I placed my son's fate in the hands of Anna Devane, and they haven't made much progress on his location or wellbeing. They found Luke Spencer, but are making minimal progress in other areas with Nina running around with Ava's baby and Faison missing. To top it off, my sister's missing too. I want Ava to be found along with her baby so that I don't have to feel this pain in my chest constantly. Every second of every day I want to take some kind of action, to find the man who's torturing my son and blow his head off. I'm not even sure whether or not my son is alive! I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know if anything I would do would be right or if it would make you angry with me again."

"Don't feel useless for a second. You have helped the PCPD so much by giving Anna the information she needs. With time your boss will be brought down and Lucas will be found. He won't kill Lucas. You're too valuable to the organization." Julian did need to hear those things from Alexis; he needed her assurance that everything would end up alright. He knew that she didn't know anything for certain, but hearing that she was hopeful made him hopeful too.

Julian nodded his head. "You're lifting this weight off of my shoulders, and I hate it."

Alexis smiled. "Well, let's see if I can do about the 'hate' part of that statement." She kissed him softly. When she parted her lips from his she wiped the few stray tears off of his cheeks. He had never been so emotional, but it touched her to see him let his walls crumble in front of her. "It's okay. If you need to cry, cry. You've certainly seen me cry enough since I told you I was pregnant."

Julian let out a small laugh that made Alexis' heart soar. "I love the sound of your laugh, have I ever told you that? And your smile. And the twinkle in your eyes that you get when you—" Alexis let out a gasp and winced in pain.

"What's wrong?" Julian was ready to bolt the hospital if need be. "Is it the babies?" He put his hand on her abdomen, and Alexis cupped his hand with hers. He felt the babies kicking and the goofiest, albeit happiest looking smile was spread across his face.

"That's the first time they've ever kicked… Probably because they know that their daddy is finally back with their mommy like he should be."

He kissed her forehead, "You're an amazing woman, for carrying my children, for staying with me no matter what I've done, no matter the lies I've told. I don't deserve you."

Jerry tackled Lucas as he attempted to escape his cell. He had barely made it through the door before Jerry had spied him sneaking out. Lucas used all of his effort to go into a full sprint, but in his weakened state he found it difficult. Jerry pinned Lucas down, blood dripping from Jerry's knuckles from the impact upon collision with the floor.

"Well, now I know you've inherited on trait from you father—stupidity," Jerry sneered. Jerry pulled Lucas off the floor and dragged him back to his lovely white padded room, complete with a table with sheets on it that they called 'a bed' at Miscavage.

"You bastard," Lucas spat as Jerry threw him back into what he was now forced to call his room.

Jerry chuckled. "Call me what you like, but when it comes time to kill you, it'll only be more painful the more you insult me."

Lucas spat in his face and Jerry slapped Lucas; Lucas crashed to the floor, letting out a guttural grunt as his face met the floor. "Sometimes I wish that I could kill you."

Jerry felt a hand upon his shoulder. "Oh, Jerry do be patient. We need to keep him here a little while longer. His father will come back to the organization soon enough, and when he does you can have your fun." Helena Cassadine was a vile woman who was darkened to the core. If she had once been good in her life all of the good inside of her had been sucked up, leaving her a wrinkled old bat that wanted nothing more than to cause havoc in the world.

"It's been weeks Helena. I think he chose Alexis over his son."

Lucas refused to believe that his father was that kind of man. He may have made questionable choices in the past, but he believed that he had more morals, and more of a capacity to love than that. "You'll see, one day Julian Jerome will be your downfall. That day can't come soon enough." Lucas struggled to get up

"I'm getting so tired of your voice; it's time you took a nap." Jerry kicked Lucas' head, and blood ran from the back of it. Lucas closed his eyes as he let out a strangled breath. Jerry turned to Helena, "I was being serious when I said that I believe he chose Alexis over his son. I find it highly unlikely that he will contact our partner if it's been this long. He wanted out; he'll sacrifice Lucas to get out."

"That's where you are wrong. He's gone to the PCPD and told them about our partner. Little do they know what is in store for Port Charles now that 'Luke' has purportedly returned. The moment it all goes to the hell, Julian will be back. Give him some time. In the meanwhile, keep Lucas alive. I don't want to have to clean up yet another one of your messes." Helena turned to leave, but she stopped, remembering something. "Oh, and Jerry, have you heard? Alexis is pregnant yet again! With twins. Before you ask, yes they are Julian's. I thought that you would like to know." Helena left with a wicked grin spread across her face.

Jerry left Lucas in the room; the door shut with a chilly clank. A devious plot was stirring inside of Jerry's head. It was said that nearly not a single child in Port Charles could tell their life story without telling the tale of being kidnapped as a baby. Perhaps all that Jerry had to do was to wait in the shadows until he had the opportunity to strike…


	12. Chapter 12

xii

Molly read over the letter her father had written her so long ago and clutched it to her chest, tears streaming down her cheeks. She missed her father deeply. He had not always been present in her life, but she loved him and forgave him for missing parts of her childhood. If Julian Jerome hadn't reported her father for purportedly being his boss, her father would still be here, alive in Port Charles. She would have been able to live with her father and tell him about all that he had missed while he was away. She would have been free from the mother she now saw as a selfish, narrow-minded woman.

Julian Jerome was the cause of her unhappiness. She wished that her mother could have come to her senses before she got pregnant. But now it was too late for that—she couldn't build a time machine and travel back into the past to stop her mother from making a mistake.

Molly jumped a little when she heard a knock on her door. She quickly wiped the tears away from her eyes. "Who is it?" she asked shakily.

"It's me Molly. I brought you some hot chocolate. Can I come in?" Alexis asked, hoping that her daughter would put their differences aside and let her into the room.

"Mom, I'm not really in the mood to talk."

"Please? The hot chocolate is getting cold."

"Ugh, fine. Leave the hot chocolate here and then leave."

Alexis entered the room and the moment she saw her daughter, she knew that she had been crying. Alexis set the hot chocolate on the nightstand. "What's wrong, honey?"

"Nothing."

Alexis saw that crumpled up letter her daughter was clutching in her hand. "Have you been reading the letter that your father wrote you?"

Molly nodded her head solemnly. Alexis sat down and wrapped her arms around her daughter. "I don't like seeing you like this, Molly."

"You wouldn't have to if Julian hadn't reported my dad to the PCPD."

Alexis bit her lip, wondering if it was the right time to tell Molly what Julian had told her. She glanced at Molly, guilt in her eyes, and was unable to tell her. Something felt so off about this moment… She wondered if she would ever be able to tell her daughter.

"Julian has made mistakes in his past, but you shouldn't blame him for all of your unhappiness. He is a good man, and maybe if you took the time to talk to him, to get to know him, you would see that," Alexis opted to say.

Molly scoffed. "I don't think I will ever be able to understand him."

Alexis looked as hurt as she felt. One of her deepest desires was for Molly to be able to get along with Julian. She was never able to forget the dream she had had where Molly had called Julian "dad". She could still hear her daughter's voice saying that all-powerful word and it rang in her ears.

"Sometimes I look at his hands and all I can see is my dad's blood on them," Molly whispered lowly. "And every nightmare I've had since he died has been Julian standing over his body pointing a gun at his head. And as he's groveling on the ground, already bathed in blood, begging for an ounce of mercy—Julian shoots him.

"I want to be able to like him. I want to be able to make you happy so that I don't have to fight with you, but every time I see his face I'm so repulsed by him. You tell me that you want me to understand him, but mom, do you understand me? Do you understand the rage and the pain boiling within me, and the hatred I feel for him every day?"

Alexis looked at her daughter silently, knowing that words would not alleviate the pain in her daughter's heart. "I understand you, and I understand that you feel like the world's crumbling at your feet, but there will come a time when you will need to move on." Alexis handed her daughter the hot chocolate which was getting cold. "Molly, I do love you very much and I also want you to keep in mind that Julian cares for you as well."

Molly sipped her hot chocolate. "This hot chocolate is good… I'm assuming Julian made it because I'm not spitting it out."

Alexis laughed, "Well, even if you don't like him, you at least have to admit the man can cook and make a decent cup of hot chocolate." Alexis put her hands on her stomach. The babies were kicking, and she swore that they were making her want to have a cup of hot chocolate. She mentally cursed herself for not bringing her own cup.  
>Molly noticed what her mother's hands were doing, and she frowned. Her mother seemed overjoyed to be pregnant and had that motherly glow to her. Maybe Alexis wasn't aware of it, but whenever she put her hand over her belly she would smile a small, adorable smile and close her eyes for a second, savoring the moment. Molly thought for a second that maybe she should accept this, not because she had no other choice, but because it made her feel better knowing that he mother was happy. Perhaps it wasn't such a bad thing, to have two siblings on the way. She did love to play with Danny after all, and whenever he smiled or giggled she would be completely overtaken by pure joy. Her heart would flutter and she wouldn't be able to resist playing with him or doing anything that he asked of her. Maybe it would be the same way with her siblings…<p>

She timidly reached over, her hand inching over to her mother's stomach. She placed her hand near to her mother's, automatically feeling the kicking of her little brothers or sisters. "Oh my God, mom!" Molly squealed. Molly was completely absorbed by the kicking. She couldn't fathom that her little brothers or sisters were inside of her mother, growing and kicking; it was the most beautiful thing that she had ever felt in her entire life.

Alexis looked at her daughter with watery eyes, a wide grin was spread across her face and her dimples were showing, "I know; isn't it breath taking?"  
>_<p>

Anna was discretely walking by the docks, wearing a dark coat with her hood up. Another hooded figure appeared from behind a building and motioned for her to approach. She looked from side to side, double checking if anyone was tailing her.  
>"Why did you need to meet me here," Anna asked in a low voice.<p>

"I need to see my daughter."

"I've already told you a thousand times; it's impossible."

"Either I go and blow my cover, or you will help me and make sure that a single person who doesn't need to know doesn't find out. Isn't that what you want Devane, for this to be a well-kept secret?"

"Yes, and you revealing yourself to your family can only do one thing—and that is blow your cover. If Julian finds out, who knows what will happen!"

"Then we have to make sure he doesn't find out. You have no options, Commissioner. You can say that you won't stand by me, but I know that you'll run to save my ass in the nick of time."

Julian held his breath as he closed the door. He had peeked inside to check up on the two when he had heard completely silence. It wasn't characteristic of the mother-daughter pair to not explode into a fight. But what he had just witnessed had made him smile so much that his cheeks were hurting. He crept down the stairs and as he reached the bottom he could hear someone creeping down the stairs behind him. He turned around to see Alexis carefully watching her step and holding onto the railing as she slowly walked down each step. She was unbelievably cautious every day in everything that she did; she was determined that nothing terrible would happen during her pregnancy to the point of paranoia.

"How did the talk go with Molly?" Julian whispered quietly.

"You should know; you were the one snooping on us."

"I seem to be losing my touch."

Alexis reached the bottom of the stairs and leaned in to kiss Julian. "Did you check up on us because you didn't want me telling Molly about Ric or..?"

Julian was hurt at the statement. He accepted that Alexis needed to tell Molly at some point, and supported Alexis in whatever decision came upon as to approaching Molly about the subject. "I was worried. I didn't hear screaming."

Alexis playfully slapped him, "You think you're so funny."

"Hilarious." Julian kissed Alexis forehead. "Sam said that she was going to catch a movie with Molly and leave Danny with us. I was thinking about taking Danny out to the park. What do you think?"

"I need to finish up a few things for a case that I'm working on, but maybe I can meet you two at the park a little later?"

"Okay, but I'm sure all Danny will talk about the entire time is how much he misses his grandmother."

Alexis was slumped over her desk half asleep. She had been working for Nikolas who was determined to send his ex-girlfriend, Britt, to jail. It was a relatively easy case to win, but nonetheless it took away a lot of her energy. Alexis told herself that this would be her last case before giving birth, and a part of her was looking forward to taking it easy for a while. She looked up at the clock, realizing that it was time to make herself look presentable and then meet Julian at the park.

She stood up and heard a knock at the door. Maybe Molly and Sam are back early, she thought to herself. As she opened the door, she gasped. Commissioner Devane was standing there, a concerned look on her face. Alexis could feel her heart dropping. Had something gone wrong with finding Lucas? "Julian isn't here. Do you need me to call him?"

"No, Alexis. But I do need to speak with you. Do you mind if I come in?"  
>The next thought she had was that her daughters were in danger. Alexis could feel<p>

her blood pressure rising. "No, it's not a problem at all. Come, sit down." Alexis ushered Anna in.

"Alexis, I have been urged by a certain person to tell you this. I'm doing this only to keep said person safe, and I do hope that you don't divulge any of this information to anyone…except perhaps one of your daughters."

Alexis took a deep breath in as she began to feel an enormous weight press down upon her. "Before Ric was shot, he had made a deal with the PCPD to help flush Julian Jerome's real boss out. Ric is alive. His death was forged and he went into the witness protection program in order to insure that not only he would be save, but also so that we could catch the real mobster kingpin. He has threatened to go out of hiding because he wants to see Molly. Ever since she was at the hospital he's been begging me to set up a meeting or find some way that he can connect with her. There's no way to keep Ric quiet other than to allow him to see Molly."

Alexis had half-listened to the rest of what Anna had said after, "Ric is alive." After Anna finished, she looked Anna dead in the eye and slapped her. Spit flew from Anna's mouth as her head flew back. "How could you allow for my daughter to feel completely distraught for months? She was devastated because of his death! Do you know how many times I woke up in the middle of the night to hear my daughter crying because she can no longer see her father, alive and breathing? Do you know the pain my family has endured?"

Anna chose not to arrest Alexis for assaulting a police officer. She knew that given Alexis' due anger and present condition, she was in no position to arrest her. Alexis' words were true, and they made Anna's heart beat painfully. "I apologize for all of the pain that this has caused your family. But it has been extremely helpful in finding the Jeromes' boss."

"There is something that you aren't telling me."

"Ric is waiting outside. He was hoping that Molly would be home." Just then, the door opened and Ric came in, looking at Alexis. He held his breath as Alexis' eyes bore into his. Alexis was glad that he was alive, but also furious that the vital secret had been kept from her for so long.

"I'm sorry to enter unannounced," Ric said plainly.

"You son of a bitch," Alexis growled.


	13. Chapter 13

xiii

A part of Alexis made her want to pounce on Ric and rip his face of like a lioness protecting her cubs. He had allowed for Anna Devane to keep his state of being a secret from his daughter, her daughter. Her daughters were the most important thing in her life. To her they were her entire world. No one, absolutely no one, was allowed to hurt them. If Ric hadn't hid the fact that he was alive from Molly, if Anna hadn't come up with this harebrained scheme, Molly wouldn't have been in so much pain for so many months. Alexis felt a sense of betrayal forming in the pit of her stomach—but then again, why wouldn't she? Ric had been infamous for failing her time and time again, always picking the action that would hurt her daughters and her in one way or another. Nevertheless, Alexis mentally restrained herself; she had to make sure that Molly could see her father—alive.

"I'm assuming Molly isn't home," Ric breathed nonchalantly. Ric was an aloof man, who no longer knew what care or compassion was. If he cared for a single thing, it was for himself. The way he mentioned his daughter made Alexis sick and it made her question whether or not he actually yearned to see her, to hold her in his arms and be her father.

"You would be right." Alexis took a few steps toward Ric, like a mother bear asserting her dominance over the enemy. "Perhaps you should have thought this through a bit better before barging in here. But then again, do you even think? And about thinking, did you think about the emotional turmoil your daughter would go through if you were announced to be dead? Do you understand what my family has gone through because you and this insensitive, self-righteous, police commissioner decided what was best for every one?" she yelled. Alexis was livid. Her face was red and a vein was bulging out of her forehead. She thought about Julian for a second, and the grief he had experienced for thinking that he was the enabler in Ric's death. For a moment her heart went out to him, before her thoughts returned to her daughter.

Alexis stumbled backwards, suddenly feeling faint from the amount of stress that this situation was causing her. She fell onto the couch, the police commissioner gasping and lunging toward Alexis to make sure she wouldn't fall onto the floor. The world was spinning, and Alexis felt like she needed to go back to her old brown paper bags, so that she wouldn't hyperventilate.

"You know, Alexis, maybe you should stress out so much given your present condition," Ric chided. He had never imagined that Alexis would be pregnant again, but she had yet again fallen head-over-hells for another mobster and let him doom her with his seed.

"Alexis, Ric is right, you need to calm down," Anna butted in. "Moreover, you need to understand that Ric was being hidden for his safety as well as your family's safety."

"I want you both to leave," Alexis said, unable to bear their presence any longer. "Now," she growled.

"But, I would like to see Molly," Ric insisted.

"I will think about all of this, and tell you my decision later. Until then, I would appreciate it if you and the commissioner would leave."

"I'm not leaving until I see my daughter." Ric stepped toward Alexis.

The Commissioner attempted to stop Ric, grapping hold of his arm. "Ric, you need to stop." But he jerked her away. He was ready to get into an argument that would shake the earth with Alexis.

Just then, Alexis saw the door handle moving, but she was too far away to do anything. The door opened and first came in Danny, stumbling at first before stopping and staring at the two newcomers before him. He was followed by Julian who took one look at the people in the room, took in a deep breath and closed the door behind him gravely. An onslaught of thoughts attacked Julian brain at full force. He didn't know what to say or do, yet the first thought in his head was, "Ric is alive? Wait, Alexis doesn't look so good. What the hell does he think he's doing?!"

Alexis looked at Julian, and through a nonverbal language that only they could understand, she communicated that the commissioner and Ric were no longer welcome. "I'll ask you to get out of our home only once. If I have to ask again, what happens there after won't be pretty." Julian didn't have a gun on him, but he put his hand at his pocket for emphasis. Anna had her hand on her holster, ready to stop whatever was about to transpire.

Ric stared Julian down, man to man, former-mobster to former-mobster. There was tension in the room and Anna was more than ready to break the tension if it should escalate. Alexis put her hand on her abdomen, stroking it lightly, the sense of fear permeating from the pit of her stomach. For a moment she imaged what it would be like to raise her two children with a father who is dead, or worse—a father who is behind bars. She mouthed the words, "Please, don't," to Julian. He contemplated for a moment before stepping back, and motioning Ric and the Commissioner to the door. They both left silently, though unhappily. Danny was still speechless from the encounter. Julian picked him up in his arms and whispered something into his hear that made him laugh.

"I'm going to take Danny upstairs. I'll come back down soon."

Alexis nodded as she watched the father of her children turn and walk up the stairs.

When Julian returned, Alexis wasn't sure how to feel. She was angry at Julian for hiding the secret that Ric was not his real boss, but she was beyond livid with Ric and Anna for keeping Ric's state of living a secret. Alexis looked at the floor, already feeling like she would start hyperventilating at any moment.

Julian sat down next to Alexis, putting an arm around her shoulder. "How are these two doing?" he asked as he laid his hand on her abdomen. He felt their soft kicks that always made him smile.

Alexis tingled with warm from his touch. "They're just fine. However, they're a little rowdy from what just happened." She was surprised that Julian wasn't the one to mention what had just occurred.

Julian took a breath in rather loudly. "And what about you?"

"I'd rather not think about how I'm doing."

"I'm fine with that. Let's just sit here and not think for a while."

Alexis nodded as she put her hand on his chest and cuddled with him on the couch. She felt this all-consuming need for him, one that ate at her until she would crack. A vase can fall only so many times before it cracks. Lately, it was easier for her to crack than ever. She sighed into his chest and he breathed in the scent of her hair; both relished the moment. They knew all too well that their worlds would come crumbling down soon, but they wanted to be ignorant for a moment. They wanted to be able to believe that one day all would be peaceful, and that the endless stream of drama would come to a close. It was one thing after another, damning them.

Alexis felt like she wanted to cry, but tears never came. She had exhausted her supply long ago. At the same time, she needed to feel anything but agony. She chose the warmth of Julian's body, the tender touches that tickled and teased her, the captivating glances, the divine kisses, the surreal love and all of the beautiful things that only he could give her; that only he could make her feel. They made love on the couch, two damaged souls coming together as one. As they drifted into orgasm, they cried out and all of the pain, all of the anger and suffering drifted out of their bodies and into the air. An unbearable pressure that had weighed down on them had seemed to have been momentarily lifted. As they lay on the couch, they held onto each other as if Julian was her life preserver and she was his, both looking for something that would save them in a sea of ceaseless sorrow.

After a while, Lucas had mellowed and had more or less come to term with his current predicament. Or rather, he had been sedated with drugs more powerful than most could imagine so that Jerry wouldn't have to deal with a half-brained nuisance several times a day. Lucas had gotten rather good at getting out of his cell, and would quickly come up with new plots to escape no matter what boundaries Jerry put in place to stop him. Jerry had simply grown tired of playing this game and used more effective methods to quell Lucas' disobedient behavior.

However, Jerry still had one problem to solve: Julian Jerome. He had the police commissioner on his side now, a formidable enemy. He also had Alexis, who Jerry had no intent on hurting. He preferred her to come out in one piece. In fact, he had dreamed of Alexis that day—she was living with him in a small summer cottage. Jerry was working on less legitimate enterprises, and Alexis had grown to accept his line of work. She had become a rather complacent partner, and even became his attorney to come to his rescue, legally, if he ever needed it. Jerry had dreams like these often, but he would always be woken up to the harsh reality of his life.

Jerry had just woken up from his nap and was getting ready make himself a drink when he heard someone walk through the door. He turned around and greeted them with his usual fake smile. "Hello, Ric. How was the encounter with Alexis today? Did all go as planned?"

Ric would have rather avoided talking about his ex. In his opinion, she was a self-righteous, narrow-mind control freak who did everything without thinking for a single moment about others. "You know how Alexis can be, but aside from that all had gone as hoped" was his response.

"Does she suspect anything?"

"I don't believe she does. She's too angry to think. I'm sure she thinks my only motive for showing up out of the blue is Molly. The Commissioner doesn't suspect anything either."

"That's wonderful news."

Ric had gotten involved with Jerry and Helena, Faison and whatever umpteenth maniac was involved in this scheme. At first he had thought that getting involved in this plot would have him an upper-hand over Sonny, but over time he realized there was so much more to this game. He wasn't exactly sure whether or not he wanted all that came with his involvement, but for now it wasn't so bad. In fact, he was starting to grow fond of the thought of exacting revenge on all those who had screwed him over in the past.

The two men drank whiskey and talked over their plans, but Jerry hid his plans for Alexis from Ric. It wasn't that he thought that Ric might care, but it was that Jerry wanted to do this alone. The thought of Alexis being pregnant with Jerome's children disgusted him, but there was nothing that he could do to reverse time. Instead, he planned to strike very soon, under the cover of some mask or another.

A/N: I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it! I know it was a short one. I hope you find that things are starting to come into place. The next chapter will be more Julian-Lucas-Sam centered.


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